LAKESHA & RAJAHNTHON

SOURCE: Baltimore Sun

Lakesha had already had 4 children taken away from her by Social Services, yet they chose to leave her with her fifth. Now baby Rajahnthon is dead.

People like this should be spayed. End of story.

Negronomologically, I'm giving it a 10.0...Rajahnthon's name shall live on amongst the pages of the Negronomicon for all eternity, though I must say I'm now kinda curious to find out what the other four kids were called.

LAMARCUS

SOURCE: Daily Mail

Self-fulfilling prophecy:

Negro goes to court wearing sagging pants. Sagging pants originated in prison, because belts are confiscated, plus it makes for easy access when it comes time for some jailhouse lovin', a.k.a. 'buying a pack of cigarettes'.

Irate judge sends Negro to prison. Negro now has legitimate reason for sagging pants.

Alanis Morissette is probably writing a song about this right about now.

Lamarcus gets a 1.5 on the Negronometer, but a 11.0 for irony.

LADMARALD

SOURCE: WISN

"You know what I am? I'm your worst fuckin' nightmare, man. I'm a nigger with a badge" -Reggie Hammond (Eddie Murphy) in '48 Hrs.'

Back in the day, the police used to protect women from rapists. Now, thanks to 'progress' and 'diversity', the police are the rapists. It's 'Muh Dik!' in uniform.

Ladmarald (or is it 'Lamarald'? Sources differ) beez the cop who 'got it twisted' and mistook 'Protect And Serve' for 'Subject To Perve'.

Criminal behavior aside, hows about that Negronomenclature? It's a giveaway alright. Perhaps in the future, when frightened young women make 911 calls, they will be allowed to ask the names of the officers who will be attending?

'What's that, ma'am? An armed lunatic in your house threatening to kill you? Well ma'am Officer Seamus O'Reilly is about 20 minutes from your location, or we have Officer De'shwaunteezius Jefferson who is 5 minutes away.

You'd prefer to wait for Officer O'Reilly? Okay, ma'am.'

Ladmarald gets a 8.0 on the Negronometer.

LETRELL & SANTONIO

SOURCE:ABC Action News

By now, you must have seen the wild scenes which erupted as hordes of 'teens' and 'youths' tried to get their hands on a pair of the new Limited Edition Nike Air Jordan Concordes. Black people beez taking footwear seriously, even if it is made in some Vietnamese sweatshop by a barely-literate eight year old for the cost of a few cents.

Allegedly, the victim here stole shoes from her killers...sounds plausible to me. Other than the fact that they most likely would not have fit her, and that if she didn't steal them from the feet of her killers-to-be, she must have got them from somewhere else where there were probably more valuable items to be had, it strikes me as completely logical. Homeless people, are, of course, experts in valuable footwear, and know precisely which ones to steal for the most money.

Anyway, our two heroes dispensed justice by beating the woman to death. Way to go, guys! Hopefully a long spell at NU is in their futures, where nobody steals shoes because everyone has the same, prison-issue kicks.

I guess we should thank our lucky stars that Nike does not enter into a contract to supply limited edition 'Death Row' Air Jordans, otherwise we'll have an unprecedented wave of murders as 'youths' and 'teens' try to secure their very own pair of questionable sports shoes.

Negronomically speaking, Letrell is pretty average, but Santonio sounds like a condensed version of San Antonio...it's all kinds of stupid. That's why I'm giving these clowns a 6.5 on the Negronometer. Hope you like slip-ons boys, because there's no shoelaces where you're going!

DAQUAN DONTE MARQUISE CHAKAR & MARKELL LATRAE

Marquise Chakar

Daquan Donte

Markell Latrae

SOURCE:News Herald

Negros. Guns. Negronomenclature. Murder.

Perhaps the US government should formulate a gun control strategy whereby one may not possess a firearm and a Negronomically-enriched moniker. I think this could prevent a lot of needless deaths.

On the Negronometer, this one gets a solid 9.5...quality and quantity as ever. Which is something that certainly can't be said about the collective brain cells of these characters.

TORONA LAMAR SHANITRA SHYTIA SHTENIQUA JAQUALA D'OBLEEK DeANGELO SHANTE MIELIELICIA D'AIRIEUS TYKEA DONTRAY UDELL & NAMOR

SOURCE:WREX

You know how Edward Woodward starts screaming 'Oh Christ!' in the original version of 'The Wicker Man' when he first sets eyes on it? Well, multiply that by 10 and you still wouldn't be getting close to the reaction I had when I dug up this gem of Negronomology.

It's the usual story, a Negro who beez a good boy/just getting his life turned around just so happens to find himself in the wrong place at the wrong time and is made good. In this particular incident, the wrong place was the pizza joint he and his three cohorts were trying to rob, and it was the wrong time because an off-duty cop happened to be in there at that exact same moment.

It wasn't until I caught sight of the above notice that the full Negronomological significance of the incident hit home.

Words literally fail me...there's even one called Namor, hopefully named after the sub-aquatic Marvel Comics superhero.

Unquestionably, this is a flat out 11.0 on the Negronometer. I honestly cannot see anyway in which this could possibly be topped...and yet every time I have felt that way in the past, I have inevitably been proven wrong. Surely I cannot be wrong this time? I mean, just look at some of the Negronomenclature on display here. It literally defies belief!

SHANIQUA SHUNTAY & LAKEISHA

SOURCE: My Fox DFW

'Teens Bludgeon Man To Death' screams the headline, but seasoned Negronomologists in our ranks already know that when the media starts talking about 'teens' and 'youths' doing something bad, they are inevitably talking about blacks. It's almost like a codeword.

Turns out these two charming 'ladies' (actions and appearances tend to suggest otherwise) bludgeoned a guy to death with a sledgehammer.

MC Hammer said 'Stop! Hammer Time!'...alas, methinks the criminal justice system will be saying 'Stop! Jail time!'. Couldn't have happened to two nicer people.

On the Negronomical side of things, it's a little dissapointing. Names like 'Shaniqua' and 'Lakeisha' are like the factory rims of Negronomenclature, and 'Shuntay' isn't a whole lot better. I can only give them a 1.5 on the Negronometer, unfortunately.

LABRANZE

SOURCE: Indy Star

Labranze be gang rapin', yo! He's the one in the middle, by the way.

For me, Labranze is what I would term as 'Metanegromenclature' which is to say it represent a Negronomification of a pre-existing Negronom (namely 'LeBron', like the famous basketball player who to our knowledge hasn't raped anyone....yet).

As such, it represents an interesting new progression in the field of Negronomenclature. I'd use the term 'evolution', but is that ever justified when we're talking about people like this? No, I don't think it is.

Labranze gets an 8.0 on the Negronometer...you don't need to see the mugshot to know he's black, which means it totally subverts the best efforts of politically-correct libtards in the media who try their best to obfuscate reality when it doesn't conform to their Cultural Marxist happy-clappy worldview.

Here's hoping Labranze and his homies get a taste of their own medicine during their tenure at 'college'.

TYRONE LEVOID

SOURCE: Daily Mail


How to solve the race issue? Well, we could interbreed with each other, resulting in one race where everyone's the same colour. Tyrone was doing his part here.

Still, this process would take a long time...a few generations at the least. Dynamic go-getters like Tyrone do not have time to wait for things like this. That's why they love fast food like fried chicken.

No Tyrone formulated a plan whereby his mudshark could enjoy all of the benefits of being as black as he is...by setting fire to her! Smart thinking Tyrone.

Another mudshark gets their death wish fulfilled too. Who would have guessed it would turn out this way?

Negronomically speaking, 'Tyrone' is like the factory rims of negronomes, and thus not all that noteworthy. 'Levoid', on the other hand, is a doozy, and neatly rhymes with words like 'negroid' (which Tyrone is) and 'devoid' (which Tyrone also is, regarding intelligence, humanity, a soul...and now liberty).

I'm giving it a 5.0 on the Negronometer.

LORDTYSHON

SOURCE: NY Daily News

The name alone is stupid enough to clock in at an undisputed 10.0 on the Negronometer, but here at the Negronomicon, ridiculous Negronomenclature is our bread and butter. As it happens, 'Lordtyshon' has got a lot more to bring to the table than just a laughaby ridiculous name.

See, Lordtyshon done gone an' got himself what we all call 'Rep'. He beat a cat to death with an umbrella.

And when I say 'cat', I don't mean it in a street-slang sense, but in a literal sense, as in the furry feline.

Word, homes. He was probably jealous of the cat's superior intellect and personal hygiene.

The whole thing reads like some Negrified version of Clue: 'Who killed Mr. Kitty? It was Lordtyshon, in the crib, with an umbrella.'

Of course, after you solve the crime, you get to be accused of being 'rayciss', and get to listen to counter-arguments from other players (or 'playas') who will attempt to disprove your hypothesis with such tested and true Negroisms as 'He din' do nufinz!', 'He beez a good boy!', 'He wuz jus' gettin' his life turned around' etc, etc.

Fun for the whole family. Maybe I could manufacture a special 'Who be da babydaddy?' version as well?

Anyway, like I said, straight 10.0 on the Negronometer, now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go and phone Parker Brothers.

LEGARRETTE

"LeGarrette" shows all the hallmarks of cutting-edge Negronomographic invention. Take a perfectly good, pre-existing whitebread name like "Garrett", add a superfluous "Le", then "Pull a LeVar" with the arbitrary capitalization, then round it all off by adding a completely needless "E" to the end, just to make it that little bit more distinctive.



It's hard to say exactly what "LeGarette" is African-Americanese for...there are so many things it could apply to, like being a bad loser, being a sucker punching little faggot, or throwing a Category 5 Chimpout at the opposing fans. Or, as was the case with our "LeGarrette", all three at once!

I'm clocking "LeGarrette" at a solid 5.0 on the Negronometer. I had to dock points because his middle name is "Montez".

DEANDRE JAVONT, DEMARCUS ANTWAIN, JIMMON LEEDARRENTE AND LAZARO

SOURCE



"Deandre" is your common-or-garden negronomenclature, whereby the adding of a totally superfluous La/Le/Da/De prefix to a pre-existing name gives it that extra little touch of Negronomical creativity, like "Dejohn" or "Latanya". Of course, points must be deducted for the failure to 'pull a LeVar' or add an apostrophe for "DeAndre" or "De'andre".

Still, his momma has made up for this Negronomical faux pas by pulling out a doozy for the middle name with "Javont". "Javont" is one of these totally sui generis Negronomes which has no meaning other than to signify to people reading the newspaper that the owner of said name is African-American.

One thing I will say about "Deandre"...I don't know if he can play bass, but he sure does a passable impression of one! That guy's head must be at least 20% lip!

Deandre gets a 3.5 on the Negronometer.



Much the same can be said for our second contestant "Demarcus", which covers much the same ground as "Deandre". However, "Demarcus" trumps "Deandre" in the middle name stakes as he drops the bomb with "Antwain". It's just like "Antoine", which is often Negronomicized to something like "Antwan" or "Antwon(e)", yet I believe the the pronounciation is probably nearer to "An-twayne". It's clearly a creative masterstroke in the field of Negronomology as we know it.

I'm giving him a 4.5



Both "Demarcus" and "Deandre" pale in comparison to our third contestant, "Jimmon Leedarrente". First off the bat, "Jimmon" is another totally nonsensical negronome just like "Javont". It sounds like one of those stupid "Sh'mon" noises Michael Jackson used to make, back when he was alive. Seriously, grab your balls, but on a sequinned gloved and try it..."Jimmon! Hee-Heee! Ow!".

Again, it's in the middle name where the money is. "Leedarrente". Just pause for a second and ponder the awesome and transcendant negronomicality of this name.

I'm guessing that the "Lee" part isn't intended as a superfluous "Le" with an extra "E" added for creativity, but I could be wrong. My hypothesis, as an avid amateur Negronomologist, is that "Jimmon" was the subject of what's known as "Baby Mama Drama", and his mother decided to err on the side of caution and give him a name that referenced both of the potential babydaddies, namely "Lee" and "Darren". Where the "Te" part comes in, I don't know. Perhaps a third possible babyfather? Or just a trademark Negronomical flourish to give the name that little something extra?

I'll guess we'll never know, and to be honest, I can't say I'm that bothered about finding out.

"Jimmon Leedarrente" is a solid 9.0 on my Negronometer.

Last but not least, we have "Lazaro", the middle name of the poor unforunate victim of the above Negronomically-blessed individuals. "Lazaro" brings to mind the story of "Lazarus", but as far as I am aware, this guy hasn't come back from the dead yet. Indeed, if he did, they'd probably have to release these guys from prison, so it's probably best for society at large that he stays dead and buried.

One dead and a bunch in prison sounds like a fair enough trade to me, but one in prison and a bunch of 'em in the grave would make better fiscal sense in the long term. Funerals are generally cheaper than long-term prison sentences, after all.

LATARIAN and VIKKITA

Strike One:



Strike Two:



Strike Three:



Strike Four:



It's a bonafide twofer here with two members of the same family. "Vikkita" sounds like a combination of "Vikki"(a shortened form of "Victoria"), which is Latin for "Victory" and "Nikita", which originates from the Greek language and means "Unconquered".

Sadly, it seems the unconquered and victorious "Vikkita" was thoroughly defeated and conquered by her seven year old grandson "Latarian", because she stood in the way of him and the negro ambrosia, A.K.A. fried chicken.

"Latarian" doesn't sound like anything else, except maybe a Toyota coupe that never made it off the drawing board. For a seven year old, young "Latarian" is racking up an impressive record...grand theft auto, assault, psychological evaluations. Lord help us if he ever manages to lay his chubby little hands on a working firearm.



I'm going to give them a cumulative score of 10.0 between them, as this is exactly the sort of thing The Negronomicon was set up to study

LAMOUNT

SOURCE

At first, "Lamount" seems kind of like a lazily-Anglicized version of "Lamont".

The name "Lamont" is apparently taken from Old Norse and means "Law Man", whereas you could be forgiven for thinking it came actually from French and meant "The Mount". As it is, "Lamount" means neither of these things, so you are free to come up with your own unique meaning for it.

For a truly African-Americanized version, his parents should have gone with an apostrophe for "La'Mount", or pulled what's commonly known as a "LeVar Burton move" and capitalized the "M" for "LaMount". Just because they can. Or could have, had they actually taken the time to think about it.

Either way, on a ten point scale for creativity, I'm giving Lamount a measly 2.5