DAQUAN DONTE MARQUISE CHAKAR & MARKELL LATRAE

Marquise Chakar

Daquan Donte

Markell Latrae

SOURCE:News Herald

Negros. Guns. Negronomenclature. Murder.

Perhaps the US government should formulate a gun control strategy whereby one may not possess a firearm and a Negronomically-enriched moniker. I think this could prevent a lot of needless deaths.

On the Negronometer, this one gets a solid 9.5...quality and quantity as ever. Which is something that certainly can't be said about the collective brain cells of these characters.

ANTWUN, CLETA, and JEVONTAI

Antwun beez dead, yo.

SOURCE: News OK

The Oklahoma Pharmacy shooting, also known as "The Jerome Ersland case". This guy is a hero, even though he has been imprisoned. Ersland's "crime" was to deliver the killshot to a would-be robber...in politically-correct fantasyland, I'm guessing you're supposed to allow wounded assailants the chance to get up and attack and kill you, (or let them escape so they can come back and finish you off at a later date, thus leaving no witnesses).

Jerome Ersland. Other than two co-workers, how many other lives did he save?

Sorry, but the rule is "Put them down and take them out".

There's a saying that holds that it is better to be judged by 12 (jurors) than carried by 6 (pallbearers). Jerome Ersland can still get a pardon, but Raymond Ferguson, Jennifer Mejia, Bryon Sheffield, and Jamie Taccetta (the victims of David Laffer in the Haven drugstore shootings) can never get a pardon, nor can their loved ones, because they are dead and gone forever.

If I'm going to be in a pharmacy that is being robbed at gunpoint, I sure as hell hope that one of the employees or customers is a Jerome Ersland type of guy. Who knows, perhaps one of the Haven victims was "A Jerome Ersland type of guy" before Jerome Ersland was sentenced to life imprisonment. New York's gun laws aside, I hope this case won't have a 'chilling effect' on people defending themselves against armed criminals with lethal force.

Negronomically speaking, Jevontai is golden, and whilst Antwun is a pretty disappointing 'Antoine for retards' kind of name, I'm pretty sure it looks good on a tombstone. The Negronometer is giving a cumulative 8.0 for this sorry lot

ASHANTI, AALIYAH, CHAZMIA, DECORY and SHACARA

SOURCE: PIX 11

Nothing too fancy here...Shacara (above) got beat down by a gang of fellow Negronomenclatually-gifted females, with names like Decory (wtf?) and Chazmia (which for some reason make the word 'Chlamydia' pop into my head).

What raises this little spat above the level of your everyday TNB scenario is the weapon used to inflict the damage...a padlock wrapped in a sock and swung at the victim (henceforth known as the 'Lock 'n' Sock')...straight out of the penitentiary playbook

I really do have to get to work on that Negronomified version of Clue that I was planning, don't I?

Anyway, I'm giving this incident an 8.5 cumulative score on the Negronometer, as it has a good mix of quality and quantity.

JABRAYLON & CARLNELUS

Carnelus...looks kind of like Snoop Dogg to me
SOURCE:Fox News

Novices in the field of Negrology might find this story both shocking and surprising. However, seasoned students of the game will have been nodding their heads and putting two and two together as soon as they read the headline, because this sort of thing isn't actually that uncommon. Indeed, incidents like this are so numerous that they have even spawned their own catch-all term, and it is that two-word phrase which would have been front-and-center in the minds of Negrologists as they perused this sorry story.

That phrase is 'GHETTO LOBSTER' (or 'Lobsta/Lobstah' as per your preference).



Urban Dictionary defines it thus:

Ghetto Lobster

A baby who's been 'disciplined' with hot water (immersed in a pot of boiling water, for example) by someone with poor parenting skills attributed to an economically under-privileged upbringing.

That's no baby with a sunburn; that's a ghetto lobster.


It's one of those things which at first you'll dismiss as made up, or an internet meme gone out of control...that is until you see the rather numerous cases that back the theory up.

Let me put it to you this way: You know that black guy on 'Deadliest Catch'? Exactly...know what I'm saying?

Anyway, turns out Carlnelus was already a convicted murderer, so probably not the best person to leave looking after your child, all things considered.

I'm giving this a cumulative 10.0 on the Negronometer. Two good Negronomes combined with classic instance of TNB means that this is one for the ages.

RODTRAVIS DONTA & REXDRIQUEZ CORTEZ

Rodtravis

Rexdriquez


SOURCE(via Chicago Avenger at Chimpout)

"Rodtravis" strikes me as another "covering all the babbydaddy bases" name. If this trend isn't stamped out soon, we will see Negronomes the length of telephone directories...think about those sows that go on Maury and have to test 20 guys (all of whom they are '250,000% sure' is da babbydaddy), and imagine poor Maury having to try and remember the name of their spawn when it's called "LaTreshawnomarionunezsvontariovarianookiedawgthatguyifuckedatdamariospartylastweekeyonte".

The again, maybe they couldn't decide between the two names and decided to conjoin them, rather than having one or both as a middle name, as that would be too logical.
Instead, he got "Donta" as a middle name.

"Rodtravis" gets a 5.0 on the Negronometer...it's just too perfunctory and obvious.

"Rexdriquez", on the other hand, is a Scrabble player's dream. What kind of a score could you get for that (if it was in fact a real word)? The middle name of "Cortez" leads me to believe "Rexdriquez"'s momma had eaten Mexican food shortly prior to his birth (possibly as an aid to passing him?) and this was thus reflected in his name. If we can just find a Negress called "LaTacoBelle Jefferson" or some such, I feel my theory will have been partially proven.

I'm giving "Rexdriquez" a 5.5, just for the inherent stupidity value.

BOUBACAR and CARNELL

SOURCE

"Boubacar" is a proper African name, but it just sounds so funny. I'm giving it a 3.0


"Carnell" is an African-Americanese original, kind of like Negronomicon standout and erstwhile horse buggerer "Rodell". I'm giving "Carnell" a 4.5 for the same reason I gave "Rodell that score.

"Carnell" didn't have sex with a horse. Neither did "Boubacar" (that we know of...I wouldn't put it past either of them, to be honest). However, they did kill some people, so they're off to prison. Oddly enough, it's not going to be a new experience for either of them.

CORTEZ

SOURCE

"Cortez" comes from Spanish (meaning it's another lame cop-out name like Antonio, Ricardo I and Ricardo II) and can mean either 'courteous' or 'court dweller'.

Something tells me our "Cortez" is the latter type. After he gets done dwelling at the court, he'll then go on and dwell at the nearest jail for a few decades.

"Cortez" gets a flat out 0.0 on the negronometer. Stealing Spanish names hardly requires any skill, finesse or creativity, does it?

CHEYENNE

SOURCE

As creative African-American names go, "Cheyenne" is an epic fail.

As a name in and of itself, "Cheyenne Cherry" is both stupid and alliterative, meaning it sounds like the alter-ego Stan Lee might give to one of his lamer characters. It also brings to mind some sort of retarded ice-cream flavor that Ben & Jerry might try to foist upon an unsuspecting American public.

Frankly, if I was a member of the Cheyenne tribe, I'd start legal proceedings to have her name forcibly changed. Sure, Native Americans may have raped, killed, and scalped a few people in their time, but when have you ever heard of them roasting a defenseless kitten in the oven?

Her folks couldn't even be bothered to throw a completely superfluous apostrophe in there or phoneticize it to something like "Shai'yen".

With parents that lazy and inattentive, it's no wonder she turned out to be the shining example of unrepentant kitten-roasting humanity that she is today.

Cheyenne gets a 0.0, simply because if I started giving out minus numbers, I'd have to give her minus infinity cubed or something because my opinion of her is so low as to defy accurate measurement.