Johnson was riddled with knife wounds: eight in the front, 40 in the back, 17 in the left arm, 28 in the right arm, and 12 to the neck. The 106th wound was a deep bite mark in the right arm near the wrist.
Like I say: DEAD.
Negronomologically speaking, Keona is only getting a 2.0 on the Negronometer...it just doesn't have that extra bit of razzle-dazzle required to propel it into the big leagues.
It's a hat-trick. A trifecta of turd world rejects busy enriching your local mall with that wonderful 'diversity'. No need to pepper spray the poor Loss Prevention lady though...exposing an armpit would probably have had the same effect.
Still, this case gives a real insight into the thought process (or complete lack thereof) in play here, specifically in regard to risk and reward. It takes a three person crew (with a possible fourth) to steal some items small enough to fit into a large purse.
Now, bear in mind 1) this is at Wal-Mart, which isn't the most high end store out there and 2) any small items of significant value will be kept locked away under glass. So just what the hell were they trying to steal that was so small and valuable that it needs a multi-person operation to pull it off (unsuccessfully)?
It's like the ghetto version of Ocean's Eleven, I guess.
Still, what they lack in smarts, they make up for in Negronomenclature. Jasmaine is pretty perfunctory Negronomification of the pre-existing 'Jasmine', only whereas Jasmine refers to something, Jasmaine means nothing. Thus, it is an archetypal Negronome in that regard. Nakisha is pretty much as middle-of-the-road as Negronomes get, but it is Markeshia which takes the prize for this round.
All told, it's a cumulative 8.5 on the Negronometer here. TNB and stupid names, the more things change, the more they stay the same.
Time for a change of tack...rather than documenting Negronomenclature, I'm going to focus instead on Juvenomenclature, which is to say the names of young people or 'youths'.
Yes indeed, unlike black people, who are far and away one of the most law abiding and productive segments of society, 'youths' are the bane of our existence.
Kyree here is just one of these 'youths' who led a gang of his fellow 'youths' in a robbery spree on a department store. Now, I know that superficially Kyree looks as if he is black, but that is where you are mistaken...he is in fact a 'youth', and there's a subtle difference.
How does one tell the difference? Well, it's quite simple...if a black person is caught doing no good, they immediately become a 'youth'. Apparently we have been wasting our time with cosmetic surgery, so-called miracle creams and spa treatments. The regenerative and rejuvenating powers of TNB cannot be denied...it's like Olay on steroid muhfugga!
Please be advised that this effect seems to be limited solely to black people, and the only ones able to discern the effects thereof are our beloved and oh-so-honest media. But you have to admit, if you've seen the video footage of a crime, and then read the accompanying report to see that the reporters neglected to mention the race of the subjects in favour of mentioning their youthfulness, then you know their youthfulness must be pretty impressive. It would be the equivalent of a naked woman walking down the street, and people commenting upon her earrings...you know that they would have to be some damn eyecatching earrings.
Ergo, we can extrapolate that the youthful looks of these black criminals must be incredible for the media to gloss over their ethnicity and focus upon their age. It seems as if crime may very well have the equivalent powers of the fountain of youth for the black community.
I mean, look at Kyree...he's 19 years old, but doesn't look a day over 12 (and one suspects that he's even younger than that, mentally speaking...), and I had to look at the picture for about eight straight minutes before I realised he was black. Incredible, I tells ya.
Kyree is getting a 5.0 on the Negronom...sorry, I mean Juvenometer.
Normal service will be resumed with the next post.
Epic tale here, certainly worthy of the newspaper's attention. There were struggles to overcome, adversity, challenges and moments of self-discovery, but in the end this talented bunch of scholars were able to defy the odds and give a little presentation in layman's terms.
You know, the kind of thing regular students do regularly without any great hoo-ha. It deserves to be made into a Hollywood movie...maybe they could call it "Droppin' Science" or something like that? Of course, it would need some stereotypical evil white racist character who tries to thwart their attempts at every turn, but I have faith that Hollywood can pull it off.
I'm surprised none of them have been shortlisted for the Nobel Prize as of yet. They may not have done that much by regular academic standards, but they've done more than Barack Obama did to get his.
Kenroy was known for his work organising events in the 'community' and working with young people, a.k.a. 'Yoots'.
Then he stabbed someone to death.
Now he has a full-ride scholarship to NU.
Amazing. I've never heard anything like that before, I tell you.
Negronomically speaking, Kenroy strikes me as another one of these 'play it safe/who beez the babydaddy?' names wherein the names of the potential fathers are concatenated into one new name, thus covering all the bases should that paternity test come back saying something different.
I'm giving it a 3.5 on the Negronometer. It just doesn't inspire in the way a classical negronome should, I'm afraid.
Wow, what a week. Not only does the Negronomicon get to make our first ever entry under 'K', but we get a double-banger with two noteworthy Negronoms beginning with 'K' popping up within days of each other!
First up is "Keyon", whose not so much a career criminal (if my studies in the field of Negronomology have taught me anything, it's that careers and Negronomenclature don't mix) as he is a serial screw-up.
Being out on parole, you'd think "Keyon" would want to play it cool and keep a low profile, stay out of trouble, stuff like that, but alas he was unable to resist the temptation to shoot a 5 year old little girl in the face. Stuff like that tends to get picked up on by the authorities, apparently.
Good luck to his attorney, but I really think he's going to be spitting in the wind on this one.
His full name is an anagram of "I'm Monkey Snot", by the way, which is appropriate on so many levels that it is uncanny.
As it is, "Keyon" is getting a 5.5 on the Negronometer, purely because it's a pretty average Negronome when all is said and done but I have to give him a bonus point for the anagram value alone.
Next up is "Kanye". I'd call "Kanye" a complete and utter tool, but that would be untrue as tools actually serve some useful purpose. As you may have guessed, "Kanye" is a huge fan of the movie "Alien Nation".
Oddly enough, Viacom have pulled both his most recent display of idiocy with Taylor Swift AND his previous interruption of the EMAs in Denmark off of Youtube. Why don't they want the world to see what a moron "Kanye" is? Why are they protecting him?
"Gibs Me Dat!"
Fortunately, they don't own the copyright to THIS footage from the EMAs. Enjoy!
Oddly enough, he's never pulled this stunt when a black artist wins an award. Or an artist that would present a physical threat to him. Just on video directors and 19 year old girls. He's straight gangsta, yo!
Actually, on second thoughts, he's just gangsta...I'm not so sure about the straight. The jury has got to be well and truly out on any guy who dates "women" that make Caster Semanya look feminine. Even his name is African-Americanese for "Gay Fish".
I'm going to have to give "Kanye" a 11.0, because we all know how badly he takes losing out to others, even if they are more deserving. Pea-brained twerp probably thinks that 'Magnanimous' is that guy the X-Men are always fighting against.
The Negronomicon exists to celebrate the ingenuity and creativity of black people in coming up with new and interesting non-traditional names for their offspring.
Join with us in our hearty and wholesome appreciation of their innate inventiveness, courage and pioneering spirit in the field of nomenclature, or just look on in envy and awe because your parents decided against naming you "LaTreyshawon".
