KYREE

SOURCE: Daily Tribune

Time for a change of tack...rather than documenting Negronomenclature, I'm going to focus instead on Juvenomenclature, which is to say the names of young people or 'youths'.

Yes indeed, unlike black people, who are far and away one of the most law abiding and productive segments of society, 'youths' are the bane of our existence.

Kyree here is just one of these 'youths' who led a gang of his fellow 'youths' in a robbery spree on a department store. Now, I know that superficially Kyree looks as if he is black, but that is where you are mistaken...he is in fact a 'youth', and there's a subtle difference.

How does one tell the difference? Well, it's quite simple...if a black person is caught doing no good, they immediately become a 'youth'. Apparently we have been wasting our time with cosmetic surgery, so-called miracle creams and spa treatments. The regenerative and rejuvenating powers of TNB cannot be denied...it's like Olay on steroid muhfugga!

Please be advised that this effect seems to be limited solely to black people, and the only ones able to discern the effects thereof are our beloved and oh-so-honest media. But you have to admit, if you've seen the video footage of a crime, and then read the accompanying report to see that the reporters neglected to mention the race of the subjects in favour of mentioning their youthfulness, then you know their youthfulness must be pretty impressive. It would be the equivalent of a naked woman walking down the street, and people commenting upon her earrings...you know that they would have to be some damn eyecatching earrings.

Ergo, we can extrapolate that the youthful looks of these black criminals must be incredible for the media to gloss over their ethnicity and focus upon their age. It seems as if crime may very well have the equivalent powers of the fountain of youth for the black community.

I mean, look at Kyree...he's 19 years old, but doesn't look a day over 12 (and one suspects that he's even younger than that, mentally speaking...), and I had to look at the picture for about eight straight minutes before I realised he was black. Incredible, I tells ya.

Kyree is getting a 5.0 on the Negronom...sorry, I mean Juvenometer.

Normal service will be resumed with the next post.