JAZ'MINE

SOURCE: WFAA

Jaz'mine is dead.

Let us examine some of the facts in the case:

Emergency officials said the child had immersion burns to her stomach and legs, likely from hot water.

1) Da Babydaddy "confessed to putting the couple's daughter Jaz'mine in the bathtub... then falling asleep"

a) Putting a baby in the bath and then going to sleep is a surefire way to have the kid drown itself. However, this tot didn't have the chance to drown themself, as they died from their burns.

b) If you put a baby in water that is hot enough to cause said burns, would you not expect it to be making so much noise wailing in agony that Da Babydaddy would not be able to get to sleep?

This whole case positively screams 'Ghetto Lobster'. If you're not familiar with the term, we discussed it HERE.

Also of note:

2) Da Babydaddy 'has been on the run since Tuesday night, when he picked up Howard from work and she later found her daughter's body wrapped in a sheet inside the trunk of the car.'

a) The white girl works, Da Babydaddy stays home, mooches off her and 'takes care' of the kid. This totally contradicts the usual interracial relationship paradigm.

Not.

3) Howard said she begged Bellamy's family for help. "I said, 'Call 911 right now, call 911 please! Charles says my daughter is in the trunk of the car and she's not alive anymore."

a) Generally, this would imply that she is dead.

4) Before he fled, Howard said Bellamy took a weapon from the house and drove off in his mother's car.

a) Mooching off women again! I'm assuming 'a weapon' is a firearm, but I figure that if he was going to bite the bullet, he'd have done it already. I'm seeing more of a 'You'll never take me alive, pig!' scenario unfolding here.

5) "Bellamy, who police call a "person of interest" in Jaz'mine's death..."

No shit Sherlock. You think!?

This story is so tragic, even more so because seasoned Negronomologists amongst our number could have predicted without fail that this was all doomed to failure before it even began, but some people just won't listen to common sense, or factual evidence either. You know what they say about those who ignore history being doomed to repeat it...

I'm not going to even give it a score on the Negronometer, it's that sad.

JABRAYLON & CARLNELUS

Carnelus...looks kind of like Snoop Dogg to me
SOURCE:Fox News

Novices in the field of Negrology might find this story both shocking and surprising. However, seasoned students of the game will have been nodding their heads and putting two and two together as soon as they read the headline, because this sort of thing isn't actually that uncommon. Indeed, incidents like this are so numerous that they have even spawned their own catch-all term, and it is that two-word phrase which would have been front-and-center in the minds of Negrologists as they perused this sorry story.

That phrase is 'GHETTO LOBSTER' (or 'Lobsta/Lobstah' as per your preference).



Urban Dictionary defines it thus:

Ghetto Lobster

A baby who's been 'disciplined' with hot water (immersed in a pot of boiling water, for example) by someone with poor parenting skills attributed to an economically under-privileged upbringing.

That's no baby with a sunburn; that's a ghetto lobster.


It's one of those things which at first you'll dismiss as made up, or an internet meme gone out of control...that is until you see the rather numerous cases that back the theory up.

Let me put it to you this way: You know that black guy on 'Deadliest Catch'? Exactly...know what I'm saying?

Anyway, turns out Carlnelus was already a convicted murderer, so probably not the best person to leave looking after your child, all things considered.

I'm giving this a cumulative 10.0 on the Negronometer. Two good Negronomes combined with classic instance of TNB means that this is one for the ages.