KEONA

SOURCE: Examiner

Keona beez dead, and by dead I mean DEAD.

How dead, you ask?

Johnson was riddled with knife wounds: eight in the front, 40 in the back, 17 in the left arm, 28 in the right arm, and 12 to the neck. The 106th wound was a deep bite mark in the right arm near the wrist.

Like I say: DEAD.

Negronomologically speaking, Keona is only getting a 2.0 on the Negronometer...it just doesn't have that extra bit of razzle-dazzle required to propel it into the big leagues.

LAKESHA & RAJAHNTHON

SOURCE: Baltimore Sun

Lakesha had already had 4 children taken away from her by Social Services, yet they chose to leave her with her fifth. Now baby Rajahnthon is dead.

People like this should be spayed. End of story.

Negronomologically, I'm giving it a 10.0...Rajahnthon's name shall live on amongst the pages of the Negronomicon for all eternity, though I must say I'm now kinda curious to find out what the other four kids were called.

LAMARCUS

SOURCE: Daily Mail

Self-fulfilling prophecy:

Negro goes to court wearing sagging pants. Sagging pants originated in prison, because belts are confiscated, plus it makes for easy access when it comes time for some jailhouse lovin', a.k.a. 'buying a pack of cigarettes'.

Irate judge sends Negro to prison. Negro now has legitimate reason for sagging pants.

Alanis Morissette is probably writing a song about this right about now.

Lamarcus gets a 1.5 on the Negronometer, but a 11.0 for irony.

MARKIESHA, ROCHETTA & SIERRA

SOURCE: Chicago Tribune

Let's do some simple math:

Negroes + Fast Food 'restaurant' = ?

a)Violence
b)TNB
c)Negronomenclature
d)All of the Above

If you guessed 'd', you passed.

Even amateur Negronomologists are aware that the combination of Negroes and Fast Food 'restaurants' goes together about as well as water and electricity...this is yet another example to add to the list.

First person to come out with a fast food franchise concept which revolves around the concept 'No Negroes Admitted' is going to be a rich man, I tell you.

Negronomologically, it's so-so. I'll give it a 6.5 on the Negronometer, nothing more.

DARRELLE, DEANDRE, MARQUIS, MONTRE & URIAH

SOURCE: News On 6

Like the songs says: 'I got five on it', and we have a full hand to play here at The Negronomicon.

These five bipedal turds carried out a home invasion wherein they murdered a 66 year old man. Not only did they outnumber their victim 5 to 1, but they also came armed too.

If JFK was still alive, I've no doubts he would mention them in a future volume of 'Profiles In Courage', such was their bravery. Too bad Oklahoma chooses to lock good men like Jerome Ersland up...he knew how to deal with feral scum like this. Put them down and take them out. Sadly, it is all too often the case that citizens must reap what their traitor politicians hath sown.

Negronomically, we're really looking at nickels and dimes here, a cumulative 5.0. Some of these Negronomes are just terminally unimaginative, like 'Darrelle', but I think all five would look a lot better carved into a headstone, or in an obituary column.

SHARAY, TAYSHANA, TERIQUE & TYSHAWN

Tyshawn...he beez a good boy, he wuz jus' gettin' his life turned around, etc.

SOURCE: CBS Local New York

Wow...quality AND quantity! You can't argue with a combination like that!

Turns out this sorry story is just more of the same ol' TNB with guns, but the sheer volume of Negronomenclature means this is getting a 10.0 on the Negronometer. It's almost as if the presence of one Negronome inspires a wave of competitive Negronomenclature in the surrounding area, a sort of Negronomically-tinged version of 'keeping up with the Jones', whereby Negronomological oneupmanship is the order of the day.

STARQUINESHIA

SOURCE: Herald Tribune

I'm thinking of inventing a new machine, like a seismograph, only this machine would be called a 'Negronomograph'. Let me tell you, if I had one, it would be going off hard right about now!

This tragic tale has it all...'bakkaball', bull dykes and Negronomenclature of the highest order. Oh, and murder of course. People with names like 'Starquineshia' rarely go on to become rocket scientists, after all.

This one ranks as a 9.5 on the Negronometer. You only have to hear the name to know the owner is 'melanin enriched'. 'Quineshia' alone would be a perfectly good Negronome, but the pointless addition of 'Star' sends it shooting into the stratosphere, Negronomologically speaking.