KURTISHA, JAVEONI, SHIKIMI

SOURCE: JS Online

Epic tale here, certainly worthy of the newspaper's attention. There were struggles to overcome, adversity, challenges and moments of self-discovery, but in the end this talented bunch of scholars were able to defy the odds and give a little presentation in layman's terms.

You know, the kind of thing regular students do regularly without any great hoo-ha. It deserves to be made into a Hollywood movie...maybe they could call it "Droppin' Science" or something like that? Of course, it would need some stereotypical evil white racist character who tries to thwart their attempts at every turn, but I have faith that Hollywood can pull it off.

I'm surprised none of them have been shortlisted for the Nobel Prize as of yet. They may not have done that much by regular academic standards, but they've done more than Barack Obama did to get his.

SHMECO

SOURCE: Daily Mail

Shmeco? Schmucko more like it!

Shoplifting by hiding goods in the rolls of her body fat. Remember that the next time you see a morbidly obese black woman waddling around your local supermarket or department store.

How long before these heifers are being used to smuggle weapons into buildings or drugs into prison, if they ain't already?

Spare a thought for the poor police officer that had to search this fat beast. They deserve a medal.

Shmecko gets a 3.0 on the Negronometer. Dumb name, dumb person, disgusting M.O. You nasty!!!

TYRONE LEVOID

SOURCE: Daily Mail


How to solve the race issue? Well, we could interbreed with each other, resulting in one race where everyone's the same colour. Tyrone was doing his part here.

Still, this process would take a long time...a few generations at the least. Dynamic go-getters like Tyrone do not have time to wait for things like this. That's why they love fast food like fried chicken.

No Tyrone formulated a plan whereby his mudshark could enjoy all of the benefits of being as black as he is...by setting fire to her! Smart thinking Tyrone.

Another mudshark gets their death wish fulfilled too. Who would have guessed it would turn out this way?

Negronomically speaking, 'Tyrone' is like the factory rims of negronomes, and thus not all that noteworthy. 'Levoid', on the other hand, is a doozy, and neatly rhymes with words like 'negroid' (which Tyrone is) and 'devoid' (which Tyrone also is, regarding intelligence, humanity, a soul...and now liberty).

I'm giving it a 5.0 on the Negronometer.

LORDTYSHON

SOURCE: NY Daily News

The name alone is stupid enough to clock in at an undisputed 10.0 on the Negronometer, but here at the Negronomicon, ridiculous Negronomenclature is our bread and butter. As it happens, 'Lordtyshon' has got a lot more to bring to the table than just a laughaby ridiculous name.

See, Lordtyshon done gone an' got himself what we all call 'Rep'. He beat a cat to death with an umbrella.

And when I say 'cat', I don't mean it in a street-slang sense, but in a literal sense, as in the furry feline.

Word, homes. He was probably jealous of the cat's superior intellect and personal hygiene.

The whole thing reads like some Negrified version of Clue: 'Who killed Mr. Kitty? It was Lordtyshon, in the crib, with an umbrella.'

Of course, after you solve the crime, you get to be accused of being 'rayciss', and get to listen to counter-arguments from other players (or 'playas') who will attempt to disprove your hypothesis with such tested and true Negroisms as 'He din' do nufinz!', 'He beez a good boy!', 'He wuz jus' gettin' his life turned around' etc, etc.

Fun for the whole family. Maybe I could manufacture a special 'Who be da babydaddy?' version as well?

Anyway, like I said, straight 10.0 on the Negronometer, now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go and phone Parker Brothers.

JAZ'MINE

SOURCE: WFAA

Jaz'mine is dead.

Let us examine some of the facts in the case:

Emergency officials said the child had immersion burns to her stomach and legs, likely from hot water.

1) Da Babydaddy "confessed to putting the couple's daughter Jaz'mine in the bathtub... then falling asleep"

a) Putting a baby in the bath and then going to sleep is a surefire way to have the kid drown itself. However, this tot didn't have the chance to drown themself, as they died from their burns.

b) If you put a baby in water that is hot enough to cause said burns, would you not expect it to be making so much noise wailing in agony that Da Babydaddy would not be able to get to sleep?

This whole case positively screams 'Ghetto Lobster'. If you're not familiar with the term, we discussed it HERE.

Also of note:

2) Da Babydaddy 'has been on the run since Tuesday night, when he picked up Howard from work and she later found her daughter's body wrapped in a sheet inside the trunk of the car.'

a) The white girl works, Da Babydaddy stays home, mooches off her and 'takes care' of the kid. This totally contradicts the usual interracial relationship paradigm.

Not.

3) Howard said she begged Bellamy's family for help. "I said, 'Call 911 right now, call 911 please! Charles says my daughter is in the trunk of the car and she's not alive anymore."

a) Generally, this would imply that she is dead.

4) Before he fled, Howard said Bellamy took a weapon from the house and drove off in his mother's car.

a) Mooching off women again! I'm assuming 'a weapon' is a firearm, but I figure that if he was going to bite the bullet, he'd have done it already. I'm seeing more of a 'You'll never take me alive, pig!' scenario unfolding here.

5) "Bellamy, who police call a "person of interest" in Jaz'mine's death..."

No shit Sherlock. You think!?

This story is so tragic, even more so because seasoned Negronomologists amongst our number could have predicted without fail that this was all doomed to failure before it even began, but some people just won't listen to common sense, or factual evidence either. You know what they say about those who ignore history being doomed to repeat it...

I'm not going to even give it a score on the Negronometer, it's that sad.

Z

Z

Zsvontario

Y

Y

Yamani
Yohan

V

V

Vernell
Vikkita
Vornelius

R

R

Rajahnthon
Raymeica
Rexdriquez
Ricardo (I)
Ricardo (II)
Ricktoria
Rictoria
Rochetta
Rodell
Rodtravis

Q

Q

Quantez
Querronaceosam

P

P

Perigion
Primitivo

N

N
Nakisha
Namor
Nu'Keese

M

M
Markell
Markeshia
Markiesha
Marquis
Marquise
Masterson
Menshack
Mielielicia
Mikayah
Mikka
Monisha
Montre

L

L
Labranze
Ladmarald
Lakeisha
Lakesha
Lamar
Lamarcus
Lamount
Latarian
Latrae
Lazaro
Leedarrente
LeGarrette
Letrell
Levoid
Lordtyshon

J

J

Jabraylon
Jacquetta
Jakadrien
Jakaris
Jamaiyah
Janzen
Jaquala
Jasmaine
Javeoni
Javont
Jaylan
Jaz'mine
Jemelle
Jerard
Jevontai
Jhakor
Jimmon
Joenel
Johnessa

H

H

Harris
Hassian

C

C

Carlnelus
Carnell
Chakar
Chazmia
Cheyenne
Cleta
Cortez (I)
Cortez (II)

B

B

Barkavius
Barkevious
Boubacar

K

K

Kanye
Kenroy
Keona
Keyon
Kurtisha
Kyree

KENROY

SOURCE: This Is Oxfordshire

Kenroy was known for his work organising events in the 'community' and working with young people, a.k.a. 'Yoots'.

Then he stabbed someone to death.

Now he has a full-ride scholarship to NU.

Amazing. I've never heard anything like that before, I tell you.

Negronomically speaking, Kenroy strikes me as another one of these 'play it safe/who beez the babydaddy?' names wherein the names of the potential fathers are concatenated into one new name, thus covering all the bases should that paternity test come back saying something different.

I'm giving it a 3.5 on the Negronometer. It just doesn't inspire in the way a classical negronome should, I'm afraid.

O

O
Octavius
Omarrian
Omir
Ophadell
Orenthal

OPHADELL

Question: Just how much of a gambling addiction do you have to have in order to think allowing somebody with a cranium shaped like this to be your driver is a good idea?

SOURCE:Daily Mail

You probably know Ophadell as the 'Deadly Decapitation Devil Driver' after the unfortunate incident wherein he decapitated a group of Asian gambling enthusiasts on his bus with the help of a signpost.

Hey, it could have happened to any one of us. Accidents like this happen all the time, right?

Of course, we know it's not Ophadell's fault, because members of his family have already confirmed that 'He din' do nuffinz!', so that makes it okay.

(NB: 'Nuffinz' in this instance does not take into account Ophadell's previous convictions for grand larceny, second degree murder later downgraded to manslaughter, speeding, driving without a license, driving whilst under suspension, giving a false name etc. Still, you can rest assured that he beez a good boy who wuz jus' gettin' his life turned around...etc, etc.)

What makes this case most interesting to me is the reaction of the Asian-American community. Here we have a criminal negro who has caused 15 deaths and/or decapitations of your fellow Asians, yet rather than 'take it to the streets' and demand some justice, they instead get their panties in a bunch over the innocent observations of this young lady:

She can play with my King Kong Ding Dong and make me go 'Oooooh!' anytime she likes...!

Priorities, eh?

Stll, Asian people taking other minorities to task for being poor drivers could be fraught with 'pot calling the kettle black' difficulties, plus I'd imagine the young white girl is probably easier to beat up than shank-happy jailbird Ophadell. Way to go losing that 'Asian men are kind of effeminate' tag, heroes!

I'm giving Ophadell an 8.5 on the Negronometer...it's not the most outlandish Negronome I've ever encountered, but you knew he was black as soon as you read it, even before the mugshot surfaced, so it's a practical one. Factor in that F'd up fizzog (physiognomy for those playing along at home), and you've got yourself another winner.