Tuesday 21 June 2011

DURLENTREN & PRIMITIVO

Sylvester Durlentren Thompson

Sylvester Primitivo Thompson

Sylvester Andre Thompson

SOURCE:Chronicle (Houston & Texas)

As you can well imagine, when you are involved as deeply in the field of Negronomology as I am, you start to become somewhat insulated. What was once shocking and surprising suddenly loses the power to shock. One might begin to feel somewhat jaded, and develop the notion that you've seen it all.


...and then a genuine four-alarm Negronomological phenomenon like this one crops up, and you snap out of it, because you know that no matter how much Negronomologically-infused TNB you've witnessed, and no matter how sure you are that the latest round of idiocy you've witnessed can't be topped, lo and behold they go and lower the bar yet again.

The latest trio of inductees to the hallowed pages of the Negronomicon have a number of things in common with previous subjects. They're black, they're male, they're felons, and they're stupid (with stupid names to match). However, this trifecta of walking turds also have something in common with each other...they're all called Sylvester Thompson.

(Yes, I know Sylvester isn't particular Negronomified as names go, but bear with me a second)

Picture the scene at the Thompson household (I'm thinking Section 8?) as Momma Thompson (because you just know that there ain't gonna be no Daddy Thompson in the picture...actually, looking at the resemblance or lack thereof between the three of them, I'd hazard a guess that there was a lot more than one Daddy Thompson, and none of them stuck around either) tries to summon one of her children and keeps getting the wrong one because they all answer to the same name.

It's doubly ironic when you consider how TV and Movies just love that whole unflattering backwoods hicks stereotype of Southerners where there are whole (inbred) families of green/black/yellow toothed (or toothless) tobacco-chewin' yokels who have huge families where each child is named some variation of 'Billy' or 'Bob'...you know Joe Bob, Billy Bob, Billy Ray, Billy Joe, etc...and yet reality just has to step in and ruin the illusion (and Hollywood's best efforts to convince you that up is down and black is white) with the Thompson Twits (Oblique Tintin reference FTW!) here.

Fortunately, Momma Thompson had enough book smarts to give them all different middle names, and it is here the Negronomitude begins in earnest.

'Primitivo' is a pretty good one. Extremely appropriate too, by the looks of things. Shame she didn't just go the whole hog and call him 'Sylvester Subhuman Thompson'.

'Durlentren' on the other hand, is unquestionably Negronomological gold. It's one of those names that as soon as you read it in the news report, you don't need to look at the description of the suspects. That to me is the essence of a good Negronome.

I'm giving this one a solid 10.0 on the Negronometer simply due to the unusual nature of the case (by which I mean the identical names, not the triumvirate of Negro ne'er-do-wells getting arrested in the process of carrying out a crime...there's nothing unusual about that, after all).

1 comment:

  1. Antwun and Jevontai. Crime story. Did not see them on your list. Great site.

    http://www.newsok.com/article/3571542

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