KEYON and KANYE

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Wow, what a week. Not only does the Negronomicon get to make our first ever entry under 'K', but we get a double-banger with two noteworthy Negronoms beginning with 'K' popping up within days of each other!

First up is "Keyon", whose not so much a career criminal (if my studies in the field of Negronomology have taught me anything, it's that careers and Negronomenclature don't mix) as he is a serial screw-up.

Being out on parole, you'd think "Keyon" would want to play it cool and keep a low profile, stay out of trouble, stuff like that, but alas he was unable to resist the temptation to shoot a 5 year old little girl in the face. Stuff like that tends to get picked up on by the authorities, apparently.

Good luck to his attorney, but I really think he's going to be spitting in the wind on this one.

His full name is an anagram of "I'm Monkey Snot", by the way, which is appropriate on so many levels that it is uncanny.

As it is, "Keyon" is getting a 5.5 on the Negronometer, purely because it's a pretty average Negronome when all is said and done but I have to give him a bonus point for the anagram value alone.




Next up is "Kanye". I'd call "Kanye" a complete and utter tool, but that would be untrue as tools actually serve some useful purpose. As you may have guessed, "Kanye" is a huge fan of the movie "Alien Nation".



Oddly enough, Viacom have pulled both his most recent display of idiocy with Taylor Swift AND his previous interruption of the EMAs in Denmark off of Youtube. Why don't they want the world to see what a moron "Kanye" is? Why are they protecting him?


"Gibs Me Dat!"


Fortunately, they don't own the copyright to THIS footage from the EMAs. Enjoy!



Oddly enough, he's never pulled this stunt when a black artist wins an award. Or an artist that would present a physical threat to him. Just on video directors and 19 year old girls. He's straight gangsta, yo!

Actually, on second thoughts, he's just gangsta...I'm not so sure about the straight. The jury has got to be well and truly out on any guy who dates "women" that make Caster Semanya look feminine. Even his name is African-Americanese for "Gay Fish".



I'm going to have to give "Kanye" a 11.0, because we all know how badly he takes losing out to others, even if they are more deserving. Pea-brained twerp probably thinks that 'Magnanimous' is that guy the X-Men are always fighting against.

DEANGELO

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Do I actually need to say anything here? "Deangelo" is a fairly common Negronom, and it's disappointing to see that his mother couldn't be bothered to go the extra mile and 'Pull a LeVar' or add a needless apostrophe.

Still, the picture alone is worth a thousand words, plus the combination of mental retardation (just look at the picture!) and latent homicidal impulses it takes to shoot your baseball coach for benching you all adds up to a healthy 7.0 on the trusty Negronometer.

Just look at that picture. Damn.

STEPHFON

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Imagine if some crazy mad scientist invented a machine that Negronomified pre-existing names. If you put "Stephen" or "Stefan" into this hypothetical "Negronominizer" device, I'm pretty sure "Stephfon" is what would emerge. It's like that movie "The Fly", only with Negronomenclature as opposed to a fly.

As you can see, "Stephfon" wears glasses, which means he's an intellectual brotha, or at least likes to think that he is/appear that way. Sadly, if you read the report, you can see he's hardly rocket scientist material, but instead the sort of material scientists should put into a rocket and shoot off to some faraway planet away from the rest of humanity.

I'm giving "Stephfon" a 6.5 on the Negronometer simply for the pure needlessness of the Negronominalization. You've already got the "F" sound from the preceding "PH", so why add the utterly superfluous "F"? Simple...because you can!

LEGARRETTE

"LeGarrette" shows all the hallmarks of cutting-edge Negronomographic invention. Take a perfectly good, pre-existing whitebread name like "Garrett", add a superfluous "Le", then "Pull a LeVar" with the arbitrary capitalization, then round it all off by adding a completely needless "E" to the end, just to make it that little bit more distinctive.



It's hard to say exactly what "LeGarette" is African-Americanese for...there are so many things it could apply to, like being a bad loser, being a sucker punching little faggot, or throwing a Category 5 Chimpout at the opposing fans. Or, as was the case with our "LeGarrette", all three at once!

I'm clocking "LeGarrette" at a solid 5.0 on the Negronometer. I had to dock points because his middle name is "Montez".