CHEYENNE

SOURCE

As creative African-American names go, "Cheyenne" is an epic fail.

As a name in and of itself, "Cheyenne Cherry" is both stupid and alliterative, meaning it sounds like the alter-ego Stan Lee might give to one of his lamer characters. It also brings to mind some sort of retarded ice-cream flavor that Ben & Jerry might try to foist upon an unsuspecting American public.

Frankly, if I was a member of the Cheyenne tribe, I'd start legal proceedings to have her name forcibly changed. Sure, Native Americans may have raped, killed, and scalped a few people in their time, but when have you ever heard of them roasting a defenseless kitten in the oven?

Her folks couldn't even be bothered to throw a completely superfluous apostrophe in there or phoneticize it to something like "Shai'yen".

With parents that lazy and inattentive, it's no wonder she turned out to be the shining example of unrepentant kitten-roasting humanity that she is today.

Cheyenne gets a 0.0, simply because if I started giving out minus numbers, I'd have to give her minus infinity cubed or something because my opinion of her is so low as to defy accurate measurement.