LETRELL & SANTONIO

SOURCE:ABC Action News

By now, you must have seen the wild scenes which erupted as hordes of 'teens' and 'youths' tried to get their hands on a pair of the new Limited Edition Nike Air Jordan Concordes. Black people beez taking footwear seriously, even if it is made in some Vietnamese sweatshop by a barely-literate eight year old for the cost of a few cents.

Allegedly, the victim here stole shoes from her killers...sounds plausible to me. Other than the fact that they most likely would not have fit her, and that if she didn't steal them from the feet of her killers-to-be, she must have got them from somewhere else where there were probably more valuable items to be had, it strikes me as completely logical. Homeless people, are, of course, experts in valuable footwear, and know precisely which ones to steal for the most money.

Anyway, our two heroes dispensed justice by beating the woman to death. Way to go, guys! Hopefully a long spell at NU is in their futures, where nobody steals shoes because everyone has the same, prison-issue kicks.

I guess we should thank our lucky stars that Nike does not enter into a contract to supply limited edition 'Death Row' Air Jordans, otherwise we'll have an unprecedented wave of murders as 'youths' and 'teens' try to secure their very own pair of questionable sports shoes.

Negronomically speaking, Letrell is pretty average, but Santonio sounds like a condensed version of San Antonio...it's all kinds of stupid. That's why I'm giving these clowns a 6.5 on the Negronometer. Hope you like slip-ons boys, because there's no shoelaces where you're going!

JACQUETTA

SOURCE:Daily Mail

Yet more violence at the Wal-Mart (or 'WallMark', as they say in Ebonics) with a Negronomenclaturial twist. Jacquetta punched out a 70 year old female employee who had the temerity to ask to see her receipt.

Classy lady.

I'm giving her a 0.0 on the Negronometer. It's not a particularly negrified Negronome, but she makes it work. However, she is also clearly a violent, subhuman savage with an attitude problem, so no rating for her.

MARKESHIA, JASMAINE & NAKISHA

Markeshia

Jasmaine

Nakisha...fugly all day!

SOURCE: WZZM13

It's a hat-trick. A trifecta of turd world rejects busy enriching your local mall with that wonderful 'diversity'. No need to pepper spray the poor Loss Prevention lady though...exposing an armpit would probably have had the same effect.

Still, this case gives a real insight into the thought process (or complete lack thereof) in play here, specifically in regard to risk and reward. It takes a three person crew (with a possible fourth) to steal some items small enough to fit into a large purse.

Now, bear in mind 1) this is at Wal-Mart, which isn't the most high end store out there and 2) any small items of significant value will be kept locked away under glass. So just what the hell were they trying to steal that was so small and valuable that it needs a multi-person operation to pull it off (unsuccessfully)?

It's like the ghetto version of Ocean's Eleven, I guess.

Still, what they lack in smarts, they make up for in Negronomenclature. Jasmaine is pretty perfunctory Negronomification of the pre-existing 'Jasmine', only whereas Jasmine refers to something, Jasmaine means nothing. Thus, it is an archetypal Negronome in that regard. Nakisha is pretty much as middle-of-the-road as Negronomes get, but it is Markeshia which takes the prize for this round.

All told, it's a cumulative 8.5 on the Negronometer here. TNB and stupid names, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

TYA

SOURCE: MLive

Tya an' her boo beez havin' relationship difficulties n' sheeit. Normally, this would result in rows, slammed doors, someone moving out or sleeping on the couch, etc.

Except for the fact that here at The Negronomicon, we don't deal in 'normal', we deal in Negronomenclature. Ergo, this little domestic dispute ended up with them exchanging gunfire. Breakups can be rough, I guess.

Sadly, nobody was killed...I guess that's what happens when you insist on holding the gun sideways whilst trying to look all 'gangsta'.

Tya is getting a 1.5 on the Negronometer. It's a short and unimaginative Negronome, barely worthy of inclusion, but here merely for the sake of it.

DAQUAN DONTE MARQUISE CHAKAR & MARKELL LATRAE

Marquise Chakar

Daquan Donte

Markell Latrae

SOURCE:News Herald

Negros. Guns. Negronomenclature. Murder.

Perhaps the US government should formulate a gun control strategy whereby one may not possess a firearm and a Negronomically-enriched moniker. I think this could prevent a lot of needless deaths.

On the Negronometer, this one gets a solid 9.5...quality and quantity as ever. Which is something that certainly can't be said about the collective brain cells of these characters.

G

G
Godsgift

GODSGIFT

SOURCE:Daily Mail

What's the first thing that popped into your head upon seeing this photo? For me, it was the sound of Austin Powers declaring 'That's a man, baby!'.

Amazingly enough, this creature managed to commit bigamy, which means she was married to two men at the same time. Clearly, this shows that love is blind...love is also probably deaf, has no sense of smell, of indeterminate sexuality, and terminally fricking stupid too.

Negronomologically, I'm giving it a 4.0...it's a stupid and egotistical name, yet utterly hilarious at the same time. If that's God's Gift, you might as well convert to Satanism right now!

U

U
Udell
Uriah

TORONA LAMAR SHANITRA SHYTIA SHTENIQUA JAQUALA D'OBLEEK DeANGELO SHANTE MIELIELICIA D'AIRIEUS TYKEA DONTRAY UDELL & NAMOR

SOURCE:WREX

You know how Edward Woodward starts screaming 'Oh Christ!' in the original version of 'The Wicker Man' when he first sets eyes on it? Well, multiply that by 10 and you still wouldn't be getting close to the reaction I had when I dug up this gem of Negronomology.

It's the usual story, a Negro who beez a good boy/just getting his life turned around just so happens to find himself in the wrong place at the wrong time and is made good. In this particular incident, the wrong place was the pizza joint he and his three cohorts were trying to rob, and it was the wrong time because an off-duty cop happened to be in there at that exact same moment.

It wasn't until I caught sight of the above notice that the full Negronomological significance of the incident hit home.

Words literally fail me...there's even one called Namor, hopefully named after the sub-aquatic Marvel Comics superhero.

Unquestionably, this is a flat out 11.0 on the Negronometer. I honestly cannot see anyway in which this could possibly be topped...and yet every time I have felt that way in the past, I have inevitably been proven wrong. Surely I cannot be wrong this time? I mean, just look at some of the Negronomenclature on display here. It literally defies belief!

SHANIQUA SHUNTAY & LAKEISHA

SOURCE: My Fox DFW

'Teens Bludgeon Man To Death' screams the headline, but seasoned Negronomologists in our ranks already know that when the media starts talking about 'teens' and 'youths' doing something bad, they are inevitably talking about blacks. It's almost like a codeword.

Turns out these two charming 'ladies' (actions and appearances tend to suggest otherwise) bludgeoned a guy to death with a sledgehammer.

MC Hammer said 'Stop! Hammer Time!'...alas, methinks the criminal justice system will be saying 'Stop! Jail time!'. Couldn't have happened to two nicer people.

On the Negronomical side of things, it's a little dissapointing. Names like 'Shaniqua' and 'Lakeisha' are like the factory rims of Negronomenclature, and 'Shuntay' isn't a whole lot better. I can only give them a 1.5 on the Negronometer, unfortunately.

ANTWUN, CLETA, and JEVONTAI

Antwun beez dead, yo.

SOURCE: News OK

The Oklahoma Pharmacy shooting, also known as "The Jerome Ersland case". This guy is a hero, even though he has been imprisoned. Ersland's "crime" was to deliver the killshot to a would-be robber...in politically-correct fantasyland, I'm guessing you're supposed to allow wounded assailants the chance to get up and attack and kill you, (or let them escape so they can come back and finish you off at a later date, thus leaving no witnesses).

Jerome Ersland. Other than two co-workers, how many other lives did he save?

Sorry, but the rule is "Put them down and take them out".

There's a saying that holds that it is better to be judged by 12 (jurors) than carried by 6 (pallbearers). Jerome Ersland can still get a pardon, but Raymond Ferguson, Jennifer Mejia, Bryon Sheffield, and Jamie Taccetta (the victims of David Laffer in the Haven drugstore shootings) can never get a pardon, nor can their loved ones, because they are dead and gone forever.

If I'm going to be in a pharmacy that is being robbed at gunpoint, I sure as hell hope that one of the employees or customers is a Jerome Ersland type of guy. Who knows, perhaps one of the Haven victims was "A Jerome Ersland type of guy" before Jerome Ersland was sentenced to life imprisonment. New York's gun laws aside, I hope this case won't have a 'chilling effect' on people defending themselves against armed criminals with lethal force.

Negronomically speaking, Jevontai is golden, and whilst Antwun is a pretty disappointing 'Antoine for retards' kind of name, I'm pretty sure it looks good on a tombstone. The Negronometer is giving a cumulative 8.0 for this sorry lot

ALEEK and DONTA

SOURCE: Philly

Yet more TNB and Negronomical gold. No photos as yet, but I'm keeping a lookout.

Working on The Negronomicon is a thankless task, but at least I have job security.

I'm giving these two 4.5 each on the Negronometer. We've already had a Donta before, and Aleek is nothing special, just mildly stupid, but that's still a damn sight smarter than its' owner.

DEL'CRESHA and MIKAYAH

SOURCE: Detroit Free Press

Crunching the numbers and analysing the statistics always throws up some interesting tidbits. David McCandless' book "Information Is Beautiful" taught me that statistically, the most dangerous flight in the world would be from America to Russia on an Aeroflot DC-9 in August. These variables add up to make it the riskiest air journey on the planet.

Here are some more variables which don't appear in the McCandless' book, but do appear here at the Negronomicon:

Detroit. "Del'Cresha". A crowd of Urban "Youths". Someone getting shot.

If you fed these variables into one of them old school computers with the reel-to-reel and myriad flashing lights, I can guarantee you that the printout would just say 'TNB' on it.

Again, this incident also goes to show that being young, black, an aspiring basketball player and/or rapper, and being Negronomically gifted will get you shot 9 times out of 10

Statistics, like most other areas of factual reporting, be rayciss n' sheeit.

I'm giving Del'Cresha a 9.5...it's an out-there Negronom with a healthy side order of TNB to round out the story.

KYREE

SOURCE: Daily Tribune

Time for a change of tack...rather than documenting Negronomenclature, I'm going to focus instead on Juvenomenclature, which is to say the names of young people or 'youths'.

Yes indeed, unlike black people, who are far and away one of the most law abiding and productive segments of society, 'youths' are the bane of our existence.

Kyree here is just one of these 'youths' who led a gang of his fellow 'youths' in a robbery spree on a department store. Now, I know that superficially Kyree looks as if he is black, but that is where you are mistaken...he is in fact a 'youth', and there's a subtle difference.

How does one tell the difference? Well, it's quite simple...if a black person is caught doing no good, they immediately become a 'youth'. Apparently we have been wasting our time with cosmetic surgery, so-called miracle creams and spa treatments. The regenerative and rejuvenating powers of TNB cannot be denied...it's like Olay on steroid muhfugga!

Please be advised that this effect seems to be limited solely to black people, and the only ones able to discern the effects thereof are our beloved and oh-so-honest media. But you have to admit, if you've seen the video footage of a crime, and then read the accompanying report to see that the reporters neglected to mention the race of the subjects in favour of mentioning their youthfulness, then you know their youthfulness must be pretty impressive. It would be the equivalent of a naked woman walking down the street, and people commenting upon her earrings...you know that they would have to be some damn eyecatching earrings.

Ergo, we can extrapolate that the youthful looks of these black criminals must be incredible for the media to gloss over their ethnicity and focus upon their age. It seems as if crime may very well have the equivalent powers of the fountain of youth for the black community.

I mean, look at Kyree...he's 19 years old, but doesn't look a day over 12 (and one suspects that he's even younger than that, mentally speaking...), and I had to look at the picture for about eight straight minutes before I realised he was black. Incredible, I tells ya.

Kyree is getting a 5.0 on the Negronom...sorry, I mean Juvenometer.

Normal service will be resumed with the next post.

LABRANZE

SOURCE: Indy Star

Labranze be gang rapin', yo! He's the one in the middle, by the way.

For me, Labranze is what I would term as 'Metanegromenclature' which is to say it represent a Negronomification of a pre-existing Negronom (namely 'LeBron', like the famous basketball player who to our knowledge hasn't raped anyone....yet).

As such, it represents an interesting new progression in the field of Negronomenclature. I'd use the term 'evolution', but is that ever justified when we're talking about people like this? No, I don't think it is.

Labranze gets an 8.0 on the Negronometer...you don't need to see the mugshot to know he's black, which means it totally subverts the best efforts of politically-correct libtards in the media who try their best to obfuscate reality when it doesn't conform to their Cultural Marxist happy-clappy worldview.

Here's hoping Labranze and his homies get a taste of their own medicine during their tenure at 'college'.

DURLENTREN & PRIMITIVO

Sylvester Durlentren Thompson

Sylvester Primitivo Thompson

Sylvester Andre Thompson

SOURCE:Chronicle (Houston & Texas)

As you can well imagine, when you are involved as deeply in the field of Negronomology as I am, you start to become somewhat insulated. What was once shocking and surprising suddenly loses the power to shock. One might begin to feel somewhat jaded, and develop the notion that you've seen it all.


...and then a genuine four-alarm Negronomological phenomenon like this one crops up, and you snap out of it, because you know that no matter how much Negronomologically-infused TNB you've witnessed, and no matter how sure you are that the latest round of idiocy you've witnessed can't be topped, lo and behold they go and lower the bar yet again.

The latest trio of inductees to the hallowed pages of the Negronomicon have a number of things in common with previous subjects. They're black, they're male, they're felons, and they're stupid (with stupid names to match). However, this trifecta of walking turds also have something in common with each other...they're all called Sylvester Thompson.

(Yes, I know Sylvester isn't particular Negronomified as names go, but bear with me a second)

Picture the scene at the Thompson household (I'm thinking Section 8?) as Momma Thompson (because you just know that there ain't gonna be no Daddy Thompson in the picture...actually, looking at the resemblance or lack thereof between the three of them, I'd hazard a guess that there was a lot more than one Daddy Thompson, and none of them stuck around either) tries to summon one of her children and keeps getting the wrong one because they all answer to the same name.

It's doubly ironic when you consider how TV and Movies just love that whole unflattering backwoods hicks stereotype of Southerners where there are whole (inbred) families of green/black/yellow toothed (or toothless) tobacco-chewin' yokels who have huge families where each child is named some variation of 'Billy' or 'Bob'...you know Joe Bob, Billy Bob, Billy Ray, Billy Joe, etc...and yet reality just has to step in and ruin the illusion (and Hollywood's best efforts to convince you that up is down and black is white) with the Thompson Twits (Oblique Tintin reference FTW!) here.

Fortunately, Momma Thompson had enough book smarts to give them all different middle names, and it is here the Negronomitude begins in earnest.

'Primitivo' is a pretty good one. Extremely appropriate too, by the looks of things. Shame she didn't just go the whole hog and call him 'Sylvester Subhuman Thompson'.

'Durlentren' on the other hand, is unquestionably Negronomological gold. It's one of those names that as soon as you read it in the news report, you don't need to look at the description of the suspects. That to me is the essence of a good Negronome.

I'm giving this one a solid 10.0 on the Negronometer simply due to the unusual nature of the case (by which I mean the identical names, not the triumvirate of Negro ne'er-do-wells getting arrested in the process of carrying out a crime...there's nothing unusual about that, after all).

W

W

Wilana

WILANA JOENEL

SOURCE: Tampa Bay Online

What is it with black people and cats? I've already theorised earlier that perhaps it is a deep-seated envy rooted in the fact that cats have superior intellects and personal hygiene than blacks, but now I'm starting to think there might just be something more to it than that...maybe something related to ancient Egypt, possibly?

Wilana went one better than previous Negronomicon standout Lordtyshon (who you may recall beat a cat to death with an umbrella) by using a baseball bat. She still has some way to go until she reaches the level of sadistic subhuman Cheyenne Cherry though.

It's an oft-quoted truism that dogs don't like Negros...something tells me that cats can't be too far behind their four-legged cousins in becoming racially-aware, methinks.

As for Wilana herself, I'm looking at her mugshot, and thinking to myself 'You know, I'm sure I've seen that face somewhere before...' and lo and behold, it turns out that I had.



I'm only giving Wilana Joenel a 4.5 on the Negronometer, as it's just pretty average in terms of Negronomological value. One thing for sure is that Wilana's looks will never be described as 'average' or 'pretty' though. She naaaasty, and her penchant for animal cruelty isn't very endearing either. Just what it is she is supposed to have to offer the United States I am unsure (other than that much-needed diversity we keep hearing about), but she's certainly found her rightful home here in the Negronomicon.

I

I

Ivhan'e

AQUADEA, DEBRIA, IVHAN'E and SHAMARRA

SOURCE: FOX8

Pesky neighborhood kids keep intruding upon your lawn, or bumping into your car? Don't chastise them or threaten to complain to their parents, just shoot the little bastards!

That's what Charles DuBose (above) did.

This has been a Public Service Announcement on behalf of the Black Community.


Moral of the story is: Keep off the grass, kids. Or get capped.

Negronomiconically, this one rates a solid 10.0 on the Negronometer...quality and quantity, with a side order of TNB to go. What's not to love?

ASHANTI, AALIYAH, CHAZMIA, DECORY and SHACARA

SOURCE: PIX 11

Nothing too fancy here...Shacara (above) got beat down by a gang of fellow Negronomenclatually-gifted females, with names like Decory (wtf?) and Chazmia (which for some reason make the word 'Chlamydia' pop into my head).

What raises this little spat above the level of your everyday TNB scenario is the weapon used to inflict the damage...a padlock wrapped in a sock and swung at the victim (henceforth known as the 'Lock 'n' Sock')...straight out of the penitentiary playbook

I really do have to get to work on that Negronomified version of Clue that I was planning, don't I?

Anyway, I'm giving this incident an 8.5 cumulative score on the Negronometer, as it has a good mix of quality and quantity.

KURTISHA, JAVEONI, SHIKIMI

SOURCE: JS Online

Epic tale here, certainly worthy of the newspaper's attention. There were struggles to overcome, adversity, challenges and moments of self-discovery, but in the end this talented bunch of scholars were able to defy the odds and give a little presentation in layman's terms.

You know, the kind of thing regular students do regularly without any great hoo-ha. It deserves to be made into a Hollywood movie...maybe they could call it "Droppin' Science" or something like that? Of course, it would need some stereotypical evil white racist character who tries to thwart their attempts at every turn, but I have faith that Hollywood can pull it off.

I'm surprised none of them have been shortlisted for the Nobel Prize as of yet. They may not have done that much by regular academic standards, but they've done more than Barack Obama did to get his.

SHMECO

SOURCE: Daily Mail

Shmeco? Schmucko more like it!

Shoplifting by hiding goods in the rolls of her body fat. Remember that the next time you see a morbidly obese black woman waddling around your local supermarket or department store.

How long before these heifers are being used to smuggle weapons into buildings or drugs into prison, if they ain't already?

Spare a thought for the poor police officer that had to search this fat beast. They deserve a medal.

Shmecko gets a 3.0 on the Negronometer. Dumb name, dumb person, disgusting M.O. You nasty!!!

TYRONE LEVOID

SOURCE: Daily Mail


How to solve the race issue? Well, we could interbreed with each other, resulting in one race where everyone's the same colour. Tyrone was doing his part here.

Still, this process would take a long time...a few generations at the least. Dynamic go-getters like Tyrone do not have time to wait for things like this. That's why they love fast food like fried chicken.

No Tyrone formulated a plan whereby his mudshark could enjoy all of the benefits of being as black as he is...by setting fire to her! Smart thinking Tyrone.

Another mudshark gets their death wish fulfilled too. Who would have guessed it would turn out this way?

Negronomically speaking, 'Tyrone' is like the factory rims of negronomes, and thus not all that noteworthy. 'Levoid', on the other hand, is a doozy, and neatly rhymes with words like 'negroid' (which Tyrone is) and 'devoid' (which Tyrone also is, regarding intelligence, humanity, a soul...and now liberty).

I'm giving it a 5.0 on the Negronometer.

LORDTYSHON

SOURCE: NY Daily News

The name alone is stupid enough to clock in at an undisputed 10.0 on the Negronometer, but here at the Negronomicon, ridiculous Negronomenclature is our bread and butter. As it happens, 'Lordtyshon' has got a lot more to bring to the table than just a laughaby ridiculous name.

See, Lordtyshon done gone an' got himself what we all call 'Rep'. He beat a cat to death with an umbrella.

And when I say 'cat', I don't mean it in a street-slang sense, but in a literal sense, as in the furry feline.

Word, homes. He was probably jealous of the cat's superior intellect and personal hygiene.

The whole thing reads like some Negrified version of Clue: 'Who killed Mr. Kitty? It was Lordtyshon, in the crib, with an umbrella.'

Of course, after you solve the crime, you get to be accused of being 'rayciss', and get to listen to counter-arguments from other players (or 'playas') who will attempt to disprove your hypothesis with such tested and true Negroisms as 'He din' do nufinz!', 'He beez a good boy!', 'He wuz jus' gettin' his life turned around' etc, etc.

Fun for the whole family. Maybe I could manufacture a special 'Who be da babydaddy?' version as well?

Anyway, like I said, straight 10.0 on the Negronometer, now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go and phone Parker Brothers.

JAZ'MINE

SOURCE: WFAA

Jaz'mine is dead.

Let us examine some of the facts in the case:

Emergency officials said the child had immersion burns to her stomach and legs, likely from hot water.

1) Da Babydaddy "confessed to putting the couple's daughter Jaz'mine in the bathtub... then falling asleep"

a) Putting a baby in the bath and then going to sleep is a surefire way to have the kid drown itself. However, this tot didn't have the chance to drown themself, as they died from their burns.

b) If you put a baby in water that is hot enough to cause said burns, would you not expect it to be making so much noise wailing in agony that Da Babydaddy would not be able to get to sleep?

This whole case positively screams 'Ghetto Lobster'. If you're not familiar with the term, we discussed it HERE.

Also of note:

2) Da Babydaddy 'has been on the run since Tuesday night, when he picked up Howard from work and she later found her daughter's body wrapped in a sheet inside the trunk of the car.'

a) The white girl works, Da Babydaddy stays home, mooches off her and 'takes care' of the kid. This totally contradicts the usual interracial relationship paradigm.

Not.

3) Howard said she begged Bellamy's family for help. "I said, 'Call 911 right now, call 911 please! Charles says my daughter is in the trunk of the car and she's not alive anymore."

a) Generally, this would imply that she is dead.

4) Before he fled, Howard said Bellamy took a weapon from the house and drove off in his mother's car.

a) Mooching off women again! I'm assuming 'a weapon' is a firearm, but I figure that if he was going to bite the bullet, he'd have done it already. I'm seeing more of a 'You'll never take me alive, pig!' scenario unfolding here.

5) "Bellamy, who police call a "person of interest" in Jaz'mine's death..."

No shit Sherlock. You think!?

This story is so tragic, even more so because seasoned Negronomologists amongst our number could have predicted without fail that this was all doomed to failure before it even began, but some people just won't listen to common sense, or factual evidence either. You know what they say about those who ignore history being doomed to repeat it...

I'm not going to even give it a score on the Negronometer, it's that sad.

Z

Z

Zsvontario

Y

Y

Yamani
Yohan

V

V

Vernell
Vikkita
Vornelius

R

R

Rajahnthon
Raymeica
Rexdriquez
Ricardo (I)
Ricardo (II)
Ricktoria
Rictoria
Rochetta
Rodell
Rodtravis

Q

Q

Quantez
Querronaceosam

P

P

Perigion
Primitivo

N

N
Nakisha
Namor
Nu'Keese

M

M
Markell
Markeshia
Markiesha
Marquis
Marquise
Masterson
Menshack
Mielielicia
Mikayah
Mikka
Monisha
Montre

L

L
Labranze
Ladmarald
Lakeisha
Lakesha
Lamar
Lamarcus
Lamount
Latarian
Latrae
Lazaro
Leedarrente
LeGarrette
Letrell
Levoid
Lordtyshon

J

J

Jabraylon
Jacquetta
Jakadrien
Jakaris
Jamaiyah
Janzen
Jaquala
Jasmaine
Javeoni
Javont
Jaylan
Jaz'mine
Jemelle
Jerard
Jevontai
Jhakor
Jimmon
Joenel
Johnessa

H

H

Harris
Hassian

C

C

Carlnelus
Carnell
Chakar
Chazmia
Cheyenne
Cleta
Cortez (I)
Cortez (II)

B

B

Barkavius
Barkevious
Boubacar

K

K

Kanye
Kenroy
Keona
Keyon
Kurtisha
Kyree

KENROY

SOURCE: This Is Oxfordshire

Kenroy was known for his work organising events in the 'community' and working with young people, a.k.a. 'Yoots'.

Then he stabbed someone to death.

Now he has a full-ride scholarship to NU.

Amazing. I've never heard anything like that before, I tell you.

Negronomically speaking, Kenroy strikes me as another one of these 'play it safe/who beez the babydaddy?' names wherein the names of the potential fathers are concatenated into one new name, thus covering all the bases should that paternity test come back saying something different.

I'm giving it a 3.5 on the Negronometer. It just doesn't inspire in the way a classical negronome should, I'm afraid.

O

O
Octavius
Omarrian
Omir
Ophadell
Orenthal

OPHADELL

Question: Just how much of a gambling addiction do you have to have in order to think allowing somebody with a cranium shaped like this to be your driver is a good idea?

SOURCE:Daily Mail

You probably know Ophadell as the 'Deadly Decapitation Devil Driver' after the unfortunate incident wherein he decapitated a group of Asian gambling enthusiasts on his bus with the help of a signpost.

Hey, it could have happened to any one of us. Accidents like this happen all the time, right?

Of course, we know it's not Ophadell's fault, because members of his family have already confirmed that 'He din' do nuffinz!', so that makes it okay.

(NB: 'Nuffinz' in this instance does not take into account Ophadell's previous convictions for grand larceny, second degree murder later downgraded to manslaughter, speeding, driving without a license, driving whilst under suspension, giving a false name etc. Still, you can rest assured that he beez a good boy who wuz jus' gettin' his life turned around...etc, etc.)

What makes this case most interesting to me is the reaction of the Asian-American community. Here we have a criminal negro who has caused 15 deaths and/or decapitations of your fellow Asians, yet rather than 'take it to the streets' and demand some justice, they instead get their panties in a bunch over the innocent observations of this young lady:

She can play with my King Kong Ding Dong and make me go 'Oooooh!' anytime she likes...!

Priorities, eh?

Stll, Asian people taking other minorities to task for being poor drivers could be fraught with 'pot calling the kettle black' difficulties, plus I'd imagine the young white girl is probably easier to beat up than shank-happy jailbird Ophadell. Way to go losing that 'Asian men are kind of effeminate' tag, heroes!

I'm giving Ophadell an 8.5 on the Negronometer...it's not the most outlandish Negronome I've ever encountered, but you knew he was black as soon as you read it, even before the mugshot surfaced, so it's a practical one. Factor in that F'd up fizzog (physiognomy for those playing along at home), and you've got yourself another winner.

SHEMICKA

SOURCE:Music & Mischief

As if there weren't already enough reasons to hate Mark Zuckerberg...turns out Shemicka done gon' an' 'shanked' her boo cuz he wouldn't let her peep his Facebook profile.

My question is this: If you're prepared to get stabbed so as to protect the privacy of your Facebook profile, just what the hell have you been doing on it that you don't want your 'gurlfren' to see, and just what imagined consequence do you imagine there being which is worse than getting stabbed?

The mind boggles. Or noggles.

So there you have it folks, Cyber-Muh-Dikin transmogrifies into an IRL shankin'...virtual reality be damned!

I'm giving Shemicka a 5.0 as it's just barely average as Negronomenclature goes, like 'Shaniqua' or 'Tamika'.

DOM PERIGION CHAMPAGNE

SOURCE:Chan4Chan

Seriously, beat that.

This is an automatic 10.0 on the Negronometer, even accounting for the misspelling/Negronomification of 'Perignon'.

DAMONTA

Damonta is on the right
SOURCE:The Smoking Gun

Damonta and his hetero life mate here got a woman intoxicated, and then raped her with a live snake.

That's right, two black men, the self-proclaiming 'God's Gift To Women' had to first get the woman intoxicated (perhaps because she doesn't find them as attractive as they evidently consider themselves?), then they had to rape her with a snake (even though every black man will swear blind that 'muh dik' is the biggest in the world, and how they are born sexual supermen, etc.).

Thus we see the disconnect between talking a good game, and reality. Indeed, perhaps the respective 'muh diks' in this case were not of the stereotypical size, and so they resorted to using a snake, hoping the already-intoxicated woman wouldn't be able to tell the difference, or perhaps would wake up the next day and exclaim 'muh poosy done feel like it been raped by a boa constrictor or python n' sheeit', at which point ill smooth brutha Damonta could slyly smirk and perhaps remark something to the effect of 'Yeah, muh dik is that big, bitch'.

Still, this little bit of legend-building is going unpunished, and Damonta and his pal look like they could be getting a full-ride scholarship to NU, where they will no doubt learn the flipside of their little ruse. Just imagine Damonta waking up in his dorm room (or 'cell', as the hep cats call it) and exclaiming 'Daayuummm! Muh azz feels like I done got raped with a broom handle n' sheeit!'.

Something tells me that Damonta's 'roommate' could very soon be considered 'the big man on campus'.

As for Damonta himself, I'm giving him a 2.5, as whilst it's a decent example of Negronomenclature, you just have to say that this case speaks volumes for his inner insecurities and inferiority complex. The guy's a sad, sad case. Still, given the STD rates in the black community, it's probably better for their victim to have been raped/bitten by a snake...certainly less hazardous to her health too. Couldn't he have just gone out and got himself a strap-on or something to cover up his obvious sexual inadequacy? Apparently not, but he needn't worry, because at progressive institutions like NU, penile patheticness doesn't matter. Not everyone gets to be a pitcher, if you know what I'm saying? Personally, I think Damonta will fit in just fine...and I get the feeling that plenty of his fellow NU attendees will be trying to fit in Damonta too.

Now if that ain't poetic justice, I don't know what is.