UPDATE:

Added pictures to RODTRAVIS and REXDRIQUEZ.

BARKAVIUS and BARKEVIOUS

SOURCE:

'Barkavius' sounds like the kind of name you'd give to a character in an animated movie about the Roman Empire where all of the characters are played by dogs, like some kind of bizarre hybrid between 'Lady and The Tramp' and 'Gladiator'.

I wonder if he has a brother called 'Woofus Maximus' or something like that?

What he does have (asides from a criminal record and a nice shiner courtesy of 'the Po-po') is a namesake of sorts, called 'Barkevious', whose negronomenclature was dubbed so mirthworthy that Name Of The Year named him their 2009 champion.



What are the odds on that?

I'm giving both of them an 8.0 on the Negronometer. How soon before we see a 'Barackavius', I wonder?

QUERRONACEOSAM

SOURCE:

'Querronaceosam'. You have to feel pity for the newsreader who gets that come up on the teleprompter. Worse still, since 'Querronaceosam' was 'made good' as we say here at NU (negro-on-negro negrocide, so you can rest assured that 'it beez all whitey's fault'), some poor guy has to carve this negronomenclaturial monstrosity into a headstone.

People apparently just called him 'Querro', but I figure it would be quicker and easier if people just called him 'Sam'.

On second thoughts, it would probably have been a lot safer too...imagine if he misheard you and took it as a homophobic slight? Negro males get all bent out of shape when somebody suggests they are on the down low, yet most of them are simultaneously engaged in the sort of mindless larceny that will earn them a scholarship to NU, where single-sex communal showers and male-on-male rape are the daily norm. It's like Shakespeare said: 'I think the lady doth protest too much'.

It occurs to me that the phenomenon of Negronomology may in fact aid Negroes in the comission of felonious acts or providing false ID to the relevant authorities in attempts to scam various programs. In certain areas, I'm sure the cops wouldn't bat an eyelid if a negro told them that their name was 'La'Quazeriffioncius Jackson'.

Indeed, Negronomology can be viewed as part of a group evolutionary strategy designed to facilitate the use of false ID by simply counteracting the natural suspicion on the part of the relevant official. Said official may think that 'Sha'dontravius Jefferson' sounds like a hokey, made up name that they've just come up with on the spot, but those subjected to repeated exposure to Maury Povich paternity test shows will have their natural suspicion counterbalanced by the recollection that 'negroes do give their offspring bizarre and laughable names'.

Fortunately, said strategy and any intended advantage afforded thereby is completely nullified by the fact that whatever pseudo-African-Americanese moniker they decide to give themselves, they are still black, and that's one cause for suspicion that cannot be so easily neutralised, despite the best efforts of the mainstream media propaganda machine. Michael Jackson may have tried his darndest, but his efforts ultimately proved futile. A leopard can't change its' spots, and a negro, whether called 'Reggie' or 'Jarvontisse', is still a negro. As the old saying goes, a rose by any other name would still smell as sweet. The negronomological equivalent is the same in spirit, albeit it decidedly less flattering to the subject, as one might readily expect.

There's really not much you can add to a name like this...it says everything you could possibly want to say all by itself, just by the fact of its mere existence.

It's a stone-cold, undisputed 10.0 on the Negronometer, no question, and our first Q name to boot.

JANZEN and NU'KEESE

Janzen

Nu'keese

SOURCE

What is it about negroes and criminality? It's like one of nature's immutable laws.

Suffice to say, it looks like these two future rocket scientists will be trading in their full ride athletic scholarships for full ride scholarships at NU.

At the end of the day, I can't help but get the feeling that this is all whitey's fault. If only some rich white family had adopted them like in that Sandra Bullock movie, then everything would have been just fine. They would probably be formulating cures for HIV and AIDS as we speak, but alas it appears that the white man is hellbent on keeping them down.

From a negronomological perspective, 'Janzen' is extremely disappointing, seeming to be little more than a jazzed-up version of 'Janson' or some such similar pre-existing name. As such, it merits only a 3.0 on the Negronometer.

'Nu'keese', on the other hand, is what we here in the negronomology faculty at NU call 'black gold'. You simply can't beat a name like 'Nu'keese', unless your name is something like 'Zsvontario'. It ticks all the boxes...superfluous apostrophe and all.
'Nu'keese' is getting an 8.5 on the Negronometer.

RODTRAVIS DONTA & REXDRIQUEZ CORTEZ

Rodtravis

Rexdriquez


SOURCE(via Chicago Avenger at Chimpout)

"Rodtravis" strikes me as another "covering all the babbydaddy bases" name. If this trend isn't stamped out soon, we will see Negronomes the length of telephone directories...think about those sows that go on Maury and have to test 20 guys (all of whom they are '250,000% sure' is da babbydaddy), and imagine poor Maury having to try and remember the name of their spawn when it's called "LaTreshawnomarionunezsvontariovarianookiedawgthatguyifuckedatdamariospartylastweekeyonte".

The again, maybe they couldn't decide between the two names and decided to conjoin them, rather than having one or both as a middle name, as that would be too logical.
Instead, he got "Donta" as a middle name.

"Rodtravis" gets a 5.0 on the Negronometer...it's just too perfunctory and obvious.

"Rexdriquez", on the other hand, is a Scrabble player's dream. What kind of a score could you get for that (if it was in fact a real word)? The middle name of "Cortez" leads me to believe "Rexdriquez"'s momma had eaten Mexican food shortly prior to his birth (possibly as an aid to passing him?) and this was thus reflected in his name. If we can just find a Negress called "LaTacoBelle Jefferson" or some such, I feel my theory will have been partially proven.

I'm giving "Rexdriquez" a 5.5, just for the inherent stupidity value.

JAKARIS, AVION & MASTERSON

SOURCE

'Jakaris' just gone and got himself a lifetime full-ride scholarship to NU, majoring in Applied Negritude. He's going to 'held back a year' every year, for the rest of his life, until he is made 'good'.

I'm not a mathematician or economics buff, but surely it would be cheaper just to have Jakaris and his pals made 'good' straight away?

'Jakaris' can have a 5.5 on the Negronometer. It does the job, but not much more.

'Avion' is French for 'Aeroplane', which is ironic, because 'Avion' himself sung like a bird and got his homies those all-important NU scholarships. Seems like he was more interested in walking than flying, and thus embraced the stoolie mantra 'those who talk, walk'.

'Avion' gets a 5.5 too...the addition of a D or L with an apostrophe could have made all the difference.

Finally, we have 'Masterson', who be da 'babydaddy' of one of these fine young NU freshman. Reading his testimony to the court, one gains a startling new insight into the 'absent negro father' phenomenon and the logic behind it.

'Masterson' asserts he left his kids because he was doing crack cocaine at the time and didn't want them to be around him (cynics may suggest it was in fact the exact opposite...he just didn't want to be around them) or be a bad influece on them.

It's an interesting sociological hypothesis...deprived of a Negro role model from which to learn behaviors from, will Negroes be more or less inclined to Negritude or 'TNB'?

Well, if you believe that taking a baby fox away from parental influence and putting it in a hen house will result in it clucking, pecking grain and laying eggs, then yes.

If, on the other hand, you believe the fox will revert to type and you will have a whole bunch of dead chickens, then the answer is a resounding 'No!'.

Unfortunately, despite ample evidence to the contrary, the 'Masterson Poindexter Theory' is still embraced by various liberals around the globe.

'Masterson' gets a 6.5 on the Negronometer. It's not a particular outstanding example, but the fact that his name is attached to one of the key theorems of Negronomology makes it significant.

MIKKA SHARDAI

SOURCE

Mikka tried to steal a ball from a wheelchair-bound disabled kid 10 years her junior, but when her demands of 'Gibs me dat!' were met with resistance, she resorted to violence, striking the kid on his surgically-attached neck halo and causing him immense pain.

You try and understand the thought process behind such an act, and then you realise that there is no thought process. It's just TNB.

You really can't make stuff like this up. Beating up kids in wheelchairs. That ball must have been totally worth it.

Here's hoping she gets a full-ride scholarship to NU.

Mikka gets a 4.0 on the Negronometer simply because it's kind of bland. It doesn't have the sort of 'out there' quality that the best Negronoms have in spades, no pun intended.

By the way, is it just me, or does she totally look like Ice Cube sans facial hair?