K

K

Kanye
Kenroy
Keona
Keyon
Kurtisha
Kyree

KENROY

SOURCE: This Is Oxfordshire

Kenroy was known for his work organising events in the 'community' and working with young people, a.k.a. 'Yoots'.

Then he stabbed someone to death.

Now he has a full-ride scholarship to NU.

Amazing. I've never heard anything like that before, I tell you.

Negronomically speaking, Kenroy strikes me as another one of these 'play it safe/who beez the babydaddy?' names wherein the names of the potential fathers are concatenated into one new name, thus covering all the bases should that paternity test come back saying something different.

I'm giving it a 3.5 on the Negronometer. It just doesn't inspire in the way a classical negronome should, I'm afraid.

O

O
Octavius
Omarrian
Omir
Ophadell
Orenthal

OPHADELL

Question: Just how much of a gambling addiction do you have to have in order to think allowing somebody with a cranium shaped like this to be your driver is a good idea?

SOURCE:Daily Mail

You probably know Ophadell as the 'Deadly Decapitation Devil Driver' after the unfortunate incident wherein he decapitated a group of Asian gambling enthusiasts on his bus with the help of a signpost.

Hey, it could have happened to any one of us. Accidents like this happen all the time, right?

Of course, we know it's not Ophadell's fault, because members of his family have already confirmed that 'He din' do nuffinz!', so that makes it okay.

(NB: 'Nuffinz' in this instance does not take into account Ophadell's previous convictions for grand larceny, second degree murder later downgraded to manslaughter, speeding, driving without a license, driving whilst under suspension, giving a false name etc. Still, you can rest assured that he beez a good boy who wuz jus' gettin' his life turned around...etc, etc.)

What makes this case most interesting to me is the reaction of the Asian-American community. Here we have a criminal negro who has caused 15 deaths and/or decapitations of your fellow Asians, yet rather than 'take it to the streets' and demand some justice, they instead get their panties in a bunch over the innocent observations of this young lady:

She can play with my King Kong Ding Dong and make me go 'Oooooh!' anytime she likes...!

Priorities, eh?

Stll, Asian people taking other minorities to task for being poor drivers could be fraught with 'pot calling the kettle black' difficulties, plus I'd imagine the young white girl is probably easier to beat up than shank-happy jailbird Ophadell. Way to go losing that 'Asian men are kind of effeminate' tag, heroes!

I'm giving Ophadell an 8.5 on the Negronometer...it's not the most outlandish Negronome I've ever encountered, but you knew he was black as soon as you read it, even before the mugshot surfaced, so it's a practical one. Factor in that F'd up fizzog (physiognomy for those playing along at home), and you've got yourself another winner.

SHEMICKA

SOURCE:Music & Mischief

As if there weren't already enough reasons to hate Mark Zuckerberg...turns out Shemicka done gon' an' 'shanked' her boo cuz he wouldn't let her peep his Facebook profile.

My question is this: If you're prepared to get stabbed so as to protect the privacy of your Facebook profile, just what the hell have you been doing on it that you don't want your 'gurlfren' to see, and just what imagined consequence do you imagine there being which is worse than getting stabbed?

The mind boggles. Or noggles.

So there you have it folks, Cyber-Muh-Dikin transmogrifies into an IRL shankin'...virtual reality be damned!

I'm giving Shemicka a 5.0 as it's just barely average as Negronomenclature goes, like 'Shaniqua' or 'Tamika'.

DOM PERIGION CHAMPAGNE

SOURCE:Chan4Chan

Seriously, beat that.

This is an automatic 10.0 on the Negronometer, even accounting for the misspelling/Negronomification of 'Perignon'.

DAMONTA

Damonta is on the right
SOURCE:The Smoking Gun

Damonta and his hetero life mate here got a woman intoxicated, and then raped her with a live snake.

That's right, two black men, the self-proclaiming 'God's Gift To Women' had to first get the woman intoxicated (perhaps because she doesn't find them as attractive as they evidently consider themselves?), then they had to rape her with a snake (even though every black man will swear blind that 'muh dik' is the biggest in the world, and how they are born sexual supermen, etc.).

Thus we see the disconnect between talking a good game, and reality. Indeed, perhaps the respective 'muh diks' in this case were not of the stereotypical size, and so they resorted to using a snake, hoping the already-intoxicated woman wouldn't be able to tell the difference, or perhaps would wake up the next day and exclaim 'muh poosy done feel like it been raped by a boa constrictor or python n' sheeit', at which point ill smooth brutha Damonta could slyly smirk and perhaps remark something to the effect of 'Yeah, muh dik is that big, bitch'.

Still, this little bit of legend-building is going unpunished, and Damonta and his pal look like they could be getting a full-ride scholarship to NU, where they will no doubt learn the flipside of their little ruse. Just imagine Damonta waking up in his dorm room (or 'cell', as the hep cats call it) and exclaiming 'Daayuummm! Muh azz feels like I done got raped with a broom handle n' sheeit!'.

Something tells me that Damonta's 'roommate' could very soon be considered 'the big man on campus'.

As for Damonta himself, I'm giving him a 2.5, as whilst it's a decent example of Negronomenclature, you just have to say that this case speaks volumes for his inner insecurities and inferiority complex. The guy's a sad, sad case. Still, given the STD rates in the black community, it's probably better for their victim to have been raped/bitten by a snake...certainly less hazardous to her health too. Couldn't he have just gone out and got himself a strap-on or something to cover up his obvious sexual inadequacy? Apparently not, but he needn't worry, because at progressive institutions like NU, penile patheticness doesn't matter. Not everyone gets to be a pitcher, if you know what I'm saying? Personally, I think Damonta will fit in just fine...and I get the feeling that plenty of his fellow NU attendees will be trying to fit in Damonta too.

Now if that ain't poetic justice, I don't know what is.