VOLLIE

SOURCE: Arlington Cardinal Vollie beez dead, yo. He stole a car and crashed it, and somehow managed to separate his head from the rest of his body. According to the news report, the head was left lying on the sidewalk uncovered for five hours...guess it must have taken a while to notice it in the dark. Vollie gets a 1.5 on the Negronometer. Just lacks any of that real creativity needed to propel it into the big leagues.

SHAWNDEEIA

SOURCE: Huffington Post

'Shawndeeia' obviously means 'multi-tasker' in Ebonics, because today's entry managed to juggle texting while driving...with a baby in her lap!

Shawndeeia has a whole litany of other traffic offences to her name (or Negronomenclature), but sadly she won't be enriching the roads anytime soon, as she's holed up in the big house on a $131,000 bail, and you just know that ain't gonna get paid!

The keeds have been taken into care, which means the taxpayer is now paying to raise them, basically. No change there, then!

Shawndeeia gets a 7.5 on the Negronometer. It starts off kind of normal, then goes crazy at the end. It's the kind of name a ring announcer at a boxing or wrestling event could really go to town on.

ANITRA

SOURCE: CBS Local Atlanta

Not much to say about this one, other than sometimes, life imitates art.

The Hypothesis:

The proof:

Patricia Hicks, mother of 18-year-old Anitra Hicks, tells WTOC-TV that her daughter thought she was having a bowel movement when she was actually giving birth in the bathroom.

A. Wyatt Mann is clearly some sort of prophet, communicating through the medium of images.

Anitra is only getting a 0.5 on the Negronometer. A distinct lack of effort went into this one.

PS: To any female readers who might be suffering from the same condition as Anitra, let me just say that if you are unable distinguish between your pussy and your asshole, then might I respectfully suggest that your feminine hygiene routine might be slightly less than adequate.

DEQUAN & SHALONDA

SOURCE: Pitch

Facebook, eh? Now, thanks to the miracle of technology, Negroes who have never even met before can have 'beef' and 'diss' one another from anywhere in the world.

DeQuan took his cyber-beef offline, and killed a 16 year old girl whom he had been feuding with on Facebook.

NU is a lot like Facebook, as DeQuan will soon be finding out...lots of people wanting to be your 'friend' and 'poking' you. Good times.

I'm giving DeQuan a 5.0 on the Negronometer. It's good, but not great. Same goes for Shalonda...like Shaniqua, it's the factory rims of Negronomenclature. Must try harder!

DOLLKEITH

SOURCE: Daily Mail

Negroes hate cats. Remember previous Negronomicon stars Cheyenne and Lordtyshon?

Well now we can add Dollkeith to that hallowed list too.

I'm giving Dollkeith a 9.0 on the Negronometer...the instant you hear it, you immediately think to yourself 'What a fucking stupid name', and by golly you would be right too!

JAYLAN

SOURCE: South East Texas Today

Okay man, here's the deal. You've done the crime, now the pigs are sniffing around you. All they know is that you were an acquaintance of the victim, they just want a statement. All you have to do is play it cool, and not give them any reason to suspect you're the killer.

So what do you do?

During the interview Williams became irate and attacked the Detective. Williams was restrained and arrested for Assault on a Peace Officer.

Now they beez jailin' Jaylan for a looooooong time.

Jaylan gets a 2.5 on the Negronometer, and I tend to suspect he would score about the same on an IQ test too.

JERARD

Jerard (R) with his partner in crime

SOURCE: Fox 23

Oklahoma again, eh? I've said it once, I've said it twice, and so help me I'll say it a third time too: They should never have locked Jerome Ersland up.
Now it appears they are reaping the consequences.

Jerard will likely be getting a full ride scholarship at NU for his part in the murder of two students.

I'm only giving him a 0.5 on the Negronometer, as 'Jerard' is just plain lazy Negronomenclature.