TYNISHA

This isn't Tynisha, or Heimdall, for that matter. All will be explained...

SOURCE:WAVY

Tynisha is the first victim of Marvel's politically-correct 'color blind casting' decision to have Idris Elba, a black man, portray the Norse God (yes, a black Norse God...ponder that one for a second) Heimdall, who is known as 'The White God'.

How ironic, eh? You'd almost think they'd done it by design rather than chance.

Anyway, anyone who is familiar with the bizarre lengths black people have gone to with the 'Weez beez Egypshuns n' sheeit' meme would have immediately realised that having black folk suddenly think 'Weez beez Norse Godz n' sheeit' was a disaster waiting to happen...only it ain't waiting no more.



No, Tynisha, no doubt convinced that she was a direct descendant of Thor himself, took it upon herself to attack her husband with a hammer. Why not a kitchen knife, baseball bat or good ol' fashioned 'gat', you ask? Simple...because of Marvel's mindlessly masturbatory multicultural movie morass that is Thor (how do you like those alliterative apples, Mr. Stan Lee?).

Alas, shortly after taking up her less-than-mythical Mjolnir against her babydaddy, she also attempted vehicular homicide on a cop with her car (in mythology, Thor generally uses a chariot pulled by two rams...say, I wonder if she drove a Dodge?) and was shot and killed.

No doubt her soul (if indeed she had one...many academics in the field of Negrology contest this supposition) was borne skyward by a throng of Valkyries unto the great halls of Asgard, where Tynisha may join the other brave fallen in the Wild Hunt. Indeed, no doubt if Snorri Sigurdsson was still amongst us, he would not doubt be adding her story to the epic poem that is the Havamal:

Tynisha be dead, yo
But she layeth not in the ground
Dat bitch got capped by five-oh
As she wuz just turnin' her life around

She din' do nothin'
Save with a hammer smite her buck's head
Vehicularhomicide-aphobic pigs be racist 'n sheeit
Dats why they shot her azz dead.

I'm giving Tynisha a 5.0 on the Negronometer...she's just another victim of the mass media practice of swopping out white characters by having them played by black actors. Next thing you know, we'll have a Wright Bros. biopic starring the Wayans brothers, and they'll all be going around thinking they invented the plane.

Shame on you Marvel and Hollywood. Her blood is on your hands.