TYREE

SOURCE: Daily Mail

Tyree murdered a homeless guy with an axe, then proceeded to eat his brain and eyeball.

I'm guessing the local KFC/Popeye's/Church's must have been closed?

Disappointingly, the eyeball apparently tasted like an oyster, thus ruining the slew of 'tastes like chicken' cannibal jokes I was preparing to unleash upon this article.

Whilst the crime itself is shocking, the Negronomenclature is pretty much bog-standard, thus it only merits a 2.0 on the Negronometer.

THABERI

SOURCE: The Sun

Thaberi likes to punch pregnant women in the stomach whilst robbing them. This is the sort of wonderful diversity that is enriching towns up and down the UK. What a shame nobody punched Thaberi's mother in the stomach while she was pregnant...who knows, perhaps someone did, and that's why he's the way he is. However, we here at the Negronomicon know better...he is the way heis because he is the way he is. Negronomenclature and TNB go hand in hand.

I'm giving Thaberi a -10.0 on the Negronometer. Vermin, nothing more, nothing less.

JAKADRIEN and JOHNESSA

SOURCE: Daily Mail

Can't understand why people are so shocked about this story. I mean, if YOU were lumbered with a moniker like 'Jakadrien', and had to live within the African-American 'community', wouldn't you choose to change your name and emigrate? Of course you would...even black people don't want to live with black people.

Jakadrien stayed true to her roots by lying and playing the system to get her free flight to her dream destination of....Bogota, Colombia. Go figure. I guess a Third World country ravaged by drugs and violence would be considered a step up when compared to your average 'hood.

Her mother Johnessa (no mention of her father in the article...hmmmm) is dumbfounded. Given that Jakadrien is now apparently pregnant, perhaps she thought that putting some geographical distance between her family and herself would serve to break the hereditary curse of Negronomenclature, which evidently runs strong in this family. If Jakadrien is successfully deported back to the States to have her baby, I'm predicting another entry in the Negronomicon under 'J'.

This one gets an 8.0 on the Negronometer.

THURMAN

SOURCE: Phoenix New Times

"And they called it puppy love...Oh, I guess they'll never know"

The TNB just keeps on coming. This one is so rich that even dingbat leftist-liberal news sources found it hard to resist.

Thurman is a guy who doesn't do things by half measures...having pulled his johnson out (Strike one: Indecent Exposure), he then proceeds to attempt to forcibly throatfuck a puppy (Thus racking up bestiality and sexual indecency with an animal charges). Not content with this, Thurman goes in for the coup de grace by telling a nearby nine year old child watching the spectacle that '"[I'm going to] do this to you" if the kid didn't stop staring at him.'

Truly a winner. Not so much on the Negronometer, which is only giving him a 2.0, but definitely the sort of guy you'd want to have enriching your community and adding diversity to it. I'd bet the folks over at the Phoenix New Times would rather a hundred Thurman McGriffs living permanently in their community than Sheriff Joe Arpaio or a visiting David Irving. Strange.

LADMARALD

SOURCE: WISN

"You know what I am? I'm your worst fuckin' nightmare, man. I'm a nigger with a badge" -Reggie Hammond (Eddie Murphy) in '48 Hrs.'

Back in the day, the police used to protect women from rapists. Now, thanks to 'progress' and 'diversity', the police are the rapists. It's 'Muh Dik!' in uniform.

Ladmarald (or is it 'Lamarald'? Sources differ) beez the cop who 'got it twisted' and mistook 'Protect And Serve' for 'Subject To Perve'.

Criminal behavior aside, hows about that Negronomenclature? It's a giveaway alright. Perhaps in the future, when frightened young women make 911 calls, they will be allowed to ask the names of the officers who will be attending?

'What's that, ma'am? An armed lunatic in your house threatening to kill you? Well ma'am Officer Seamus O'Reilly is about 20 minutes from your location, or we have Officer De'shwaunteezius Jefferson who is 5 minutes away.

You'd prefer to wait for Officer O'Reilly? Okay, ma'am.'

Ladmarald gets a 8.0 on the Negronometer.

DEZHUAN and DERRIN

SOURCE: CBS News

Now, this might seem like going out on a limb here, but I'm adding these two WITHOUT having seen mugshots.

I'm sure the more delusionally liberal amongst our readership will doubtlessly be outraged by this...after all, the news report makes no mention of any of the suspects being black...yet I feel confident enough to it.

Why, you may ask? Simple. I am a qualified Negronomolgist, and as such can spot Negronomenclature from a mile off. When you couple the presence of Negronomenclature with the other factors (location, use of the media codewords 'teens' and 'youths', and the TNB that took place) it is absolutely certain that these perps are in fact black.

I'm not psychic, I don't have an inside man down at the local police precinct, but I am a qualified Negronomologist and a race realist. Believe me when I tell you that Negronomology is poised to become THE hot crime-prevention science of the next few decades...it will make that Pre-Crime jazz in 'Minority Report' look Stone Age by comparison. Remember, you heard it here first.

I'm giving these two doofuses a perfect 10.0 on the Negronometer, because these names do exactly what a good Negronom should do, namely alert the reader/listener to Negroes without the need for visual confirmation.

If I'm wrong on this, I'll happily eat my hat...but let's face it, I'm not wrong, am I?

Pictures to follow as and when they become available.