RODTRAVIS DONTA & REXDRIQUEZ CORTEZ

Rodtravis

Rexdriquez


SOURCE(via Chicago Avenger at Chimpout)

"Rodtravis" strikes me as another "covering all the babbydaddy bases" name. If this trend isn't stamped out soon, we will see Negronomes the length of telephone directories...think about those sows that go on Maury and have to test 20 guys (all of whom they are '250,000% sure' is da babbydaddy), and imagine poor Maury having to try and remember the name of their spawn when it's called "LaTreshawnomarionunezsvontariovarianookiedawgthatguyifuckedatdamariospartylastweekeyonte".

The again, maybe they couldn't decide between the two names and decided to conjoin them, rather than having one or both as a middle name, as that would be too logical.
Instead, he got "Donta" as a middle name.

"Rodtravis" gets a 5.0 on the Negronometer...it's just too perfunctory and obvious.

"Rexdriquez", on the other hand, is a Scrabble player's dream. What kind of a score could you get for that (if it was in fact a real word)? The middle name of "Cortez" leads me to believe "Rexdriquez"'s momma had eaten Mexican food shortly prior to his birth (possibly as an aid to passing him?) and this was thus reflected in his name. If we can just find a Negress called "LaTacoBelle Jefferson" or some such, I feel my theory will have been partially proven.

I'm giving "Rexdriquez" a 5.5, just for the inherent stupidity value.

JAKARIS, AVION & MASTERSON

SOURCE

'Jakaris' just gone and got himself a lifetime full-ride scholarship to NU, majoring in Applied Negritude. He's going to 'held back a year' every year, for the rest of his life, until he is made 'good'.

I'm not a mathematician or economics buff, but surely it would be cheaper just to have Jakaris and his pals made 'good' straight away?

'Jakaris' can have a 5.5 on the Negronometer. It does the job, but not much more.

'Avion' is French for 'Aeroplane', which is ironic, because 'Avion' himself sung like a bird and got his homies those all-important NU scholarships. Seems like he was more interested in walking than flying, and thus embraced the stoolie mantra 'those who talk, walk'.

'Avion' gets a 5.5 too...the addition of a D or L with an apostrophe could have made all the difference.

Finally, we have 'Masterson', who be da 'babydaddy' of one of these fine young NU freshman. Reading his testimony to the court, one gains a startling new insight into the 'absent negro father' phenomenon and the logic behind it.

'Masterson' asserts he left his kids because he was doing crack cocaine at the time and didn't want them to be around him (cynics may suggest it was in fact the exact opposite...he just didn't want to be around them) or be a bad influece on them.

It's an interesting sociological hypothesis...deprived of a Negro role model from which to learn behaviors from, will Negroes be more or less inclined to Negritude or 'TNB'?

Well, if you believe that taking a baby fox away from parental influence and putting it in a hen house will result in it clucking, pecking grain and laying eggs, then yes.

If, on the other hand, you believe the fox will revert to type and you will have a whole bunch of dead chickens, then the answer is a resounding 'No!'.

Unfortunately, despite ample evidence to the contrary, the 'Masterson Poindexter Theory' is still embraced by various liberals around the globe.

'Masterson' gets a 6.5 on the Negronometer. It's not a particular outstanding example, but the fact that his name is attached to one of the key theorems of Negronomology makes it significant.

MIKKA SHARDAI

SOURCE

Mikka tried to steal a ball from a wheelchair-bound disabled kid 10 years her junior, but when her demands of 'Gibs me dat!' were met with resistance, she resorted to violence, striking the kid on his surgically-attached neck halo and causing him immense pain.

You try and understand the thought process behind such an act, and then you realise that there is no thought process. It's just TNB.

You really can't make stuff like this up. Beating up kids in wheelchairs. That ball must have been totally worth it.

Here's hoping she gets a full-ride scholarship to NU.

Mikka gets a 4.0 on the Negronometer simply because it's kind of bland. It doesn't have the sort of 'out there' quality that the best Negronoms have in spades, no pun intended.

By the way, is it just me, or does she totally look like Ice Cube sans facial hair?